The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
In the memo from the student housing at Buckingham College, it is stated that more students will enroll in this college. The claimers have come to this conclusion based on current trends, the increasing of the off campus renting prices and the attractive dormitories they have intention to build. However that conclusion is based on a number of inadequately unsupported assumptions. Without further information about the growth in enrollment, having enough dormitory space and being able or not to afford the rent off campus, we do not have sufficient evidence to determine that the author’s conclusion is valid.
Firstly, the director is claiming that there is an increase of students enrolling in this college. In other words, he thinks that in the next 50 years the number of students will double. Perhaps, the growth is very small and in the next decades it will grow smaller. Maybe students will choose another college much closer to their houses. Further, there is a possibility that other colleges might be built in 50 years. If either of these scenarios has merit the conclusion drawn in the original argument is significantly weakened.
Next, the author claims that they might need to build extra dormitories. There is no information if the college has intention to do this soon or will need to do this. Perhaps the current ones are going to be enough for years coming. Perhaps they will never build them.
Thirdly, there is a claim that since renting off campus is becoming expensive the students will ask to stay in campus. However, this may not be the case. Perhaps, the prices in campus will be higher than the ones off campus. In an ideal world, many people may love to be on campus while studying, but the reality of prices is usually the one that chooses. If the above is true, the argument is not valid.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is considerably flawed because is relying on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to argument the three claims above and offer more evidence then it would be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the statement that there will be more enrollments in the future in Buckingham College.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1762 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.749 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.534 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.599 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.349 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 298, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...rmitories they have intention to build. However that conclusion is based on a number of...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 419, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...er colleges might be built in 50 years. If either of these scenarios has merit the...
^^
Line 5, column 205, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...ee claims above and offer more evidence then it would be possible to fully evaluate ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, then, third, thirdly, while, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1811.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 371.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88140161725 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63203372206 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493261455526 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 556.2 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.3900857838 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.2380952381 119.503703932 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6666666667 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.80952380952 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197043479446 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0562783715846 0.0743258471296 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.07200593615 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102444918555 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0668284407132 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.