The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of Brindleburg to the city council.
"Two years ago, the town of Seaside Vista opened a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. Since then, the Seaside Vista Tourism Board has reported a 20% increase in visitors. In addition, local banks reported a steep rise in the number of new business loan applications they received this year. The amount of tax money collected by Seaside Vista has also increased, allowing the town to announce plans to improve Seaside Vista's roads and bridges. We recommend building a similar golf course and resort hotel in Brindleburg. We predict that this project will generate additional tax revenue that the city can use to fund much-needed public improvements."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the given memo the mayor of Brindleburg recommendation to the city council for building a municipal golf course and resort hotel as opened by Seaside Vista Tourism Board. The Seaside Vista is getting benefit with their initiatives and they reported 20 percent visitors increased. The mayor is considering similar results in Brindleburg city after building golf course and resort hotel. I found the recommendation is buttressed be evidence which should be questioned in order to gauge the soundness of the argument.
Firstly, what is the reason behind in 20 percent increase in visitors at Seaside Vista? Is it because of attractive and beautiful architecture of the golf course and hotel or there is no place to go for lunch or dinner? If visitors are attracted because of architecture of building, then increase is only 20 percent in two years. Similar project could not be caricature without any solid evidences for success of the project. The percentage doesn't mention the actual number and it may be possible that the 20 percent is not much volume of visitors in number.
Secondly, there is steep rise in loan applications for business in local banks, it is also not convincing. The investors want to establish similar business in same town is not clearly mentioned in the given argument. Another point is the loan applications received this year and the Seaside Vista opened new plan two years ago. So, the author did not specify any solid reason behind loan applications. It may be possible the tax money increased that's the reason to take loan. On the other hand, it has not been mentioned that whether citizens in Brindleburg are business minded people or not.
Thirdly, the author also claims that tax revenues have been increased in Seaside Vista. It can be as a result of changing tax brackets by the government, due to which total tax revenue has been increased. We do not have reason to claim it that increased in tax revenues is due to which opening of resort and golf club. One of the important points which contradicts author’s claim is that he has not mentioned anywhere any similarity between two towns, climates, whether conditions, and geography. May be the climate in Brindleburg is too cold or too hot, due to which visitors rarely visit it. It is neither mentioned whether both towns are located which is feasible for visitors.
Conclusively, on the basis of insufficient information we cannot claim that building golf club and resorts will generate additional revenues to use them as a fund for public improvements, the author is required to provide more detailed information.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 437 350
No. of Characters: 2129 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.572 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.872 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.73 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.97 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 442, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... success of the project. The percentage doesnt mention the actual number and it may be...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 446, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...may be possible the tax money increased thats the reason to take loan. On the other h...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 507, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
... whether conditions, and geography. May be the climate in Brindleburg is too cold ...
^^
Line 9, column 250, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d to provide more detailed information.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2185.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 436.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01146788991 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8206002017 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493119266055 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.8232112986 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.3181818182 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8181818182 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.308643599672 0.218282227539 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0906390968719 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120149465978 0.0701772020484 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163376114979 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.127289922402 0.0628817314937 202% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.