The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
As per mentioned in the memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing, considering two Manufacturing Industries and their data of on-the-job accidents taken place has been mentioned that Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply Industries have had an hour shorter work shifts in comparison to Alta Manufacturing. There are various factors which make this claim irrelevant and various missing factors that fails to justify this claim regarding the decrement in the working hours and shortening it.
Firstly, considering the first mentioned line about the past year, Alta Manufacturing has thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply industries. There is no ratio or number mentioned that how many employees work in Alta Manufacturing and Panoply Industries considering the size of both of them. Hence it might also be possible that the number of employees and size of Alta Manufacturing would be far more than the number of employees and size of Panoply Industries. So it fails to argue in the first sentence only as whenever we do a comparison ratio should be in the same number and should not be over inclined towards a side.
Secondly, as per the Expert's statement mentioned in the memo, it has been said that a significant contributing factor in many accidents has been fatigue which might be caused by sleep deprivation among workers. It cannot be justified that the employees may be experiencing fewer hours of sleep hours due to their greater work shift hours. There has been no mention of the number of hours employees work. The sleep deprivation should be also because the employees might be passing their other tie in talking on phones, doing other work or any other so for reasons. The sleep deprivation just through the number of hours in the work shift cannot be considered as a justifying factor.
As in the memo it has been mentioned about the recommendation on the shortening of three work shifts by one hour, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents fails to argue by many unproven factors. There is no given hypothesis that these accidents were caused just because of these more work shift hours. It has not been proved that implementing this lowered in these number of work hours would result in the decrement or prevention of on-the-job accidents. Hence only one side of the problem is only mentioned in the memo and other viewpoints and affecting factors have not been considered.
Finally, all these mentioned arguments fail to justify for the shortening of three work shifts by one hour for the reduction of on-the-job accidents. The claims mentioned in the memo by the Vice President of Alta Manufacturing undermine all of the arguments as they are just considered seeing a single viewpoint. While considering to pass all these changes a proper scenario shall be seen and the effect on the company by taking these decisions should also be kept in mind.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 314, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...s considering the size of both of them. Hence it might also be possible that the numb...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 461, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... or prevention of on-the-job accidents. Hence only one side of the problem is only me...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 208, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ned in the memo by the Vice President of Alta Manufacturing undermine all of the ...
^^
Line 9, column 239, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...sident of Alta Manufacturing undermine all of the arguments as they are just considered s...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 321, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'considering passing'.
Suggestion: considering passing
...idered seeing a single viewpoint. While considering to pass all these changes a proper scenario sha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2487.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 490.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07551020408 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70488508055 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8465027828 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.385714285714 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 761.4 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1708257708 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.894736842 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7894736842 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73684210526 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 15.0 6.88822355289 218% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343939275181 0.218282227539 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.126437812174 0.0743258471296 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.125932303582 0.0701772020484 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21444969373 0.128457276422 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.127354283464 0.0628817314937 203% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.45 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 314, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...s considering the size of both of them. Hence it might also be possible that the numb...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 461, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... or prevention of on-the-job accidents. Hence only one side of the problem is only me...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 208, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ned in the memo by the Vice President of Alta Manufacturing undermine all of the ...
^^
Line 9, column 239, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...sident of Alta Manufacturing undermine all of the arguments as they are just considered s...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 321, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'considering passing'.
Suggestion: considering passing
...idered seeing a single viewpoint. While considering to pass all these changes a proper scenario sha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2487.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 490.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07551020408 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70488508055 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8465027828 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.385714285714 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 761.4 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1708257708 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.894736842 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7894736842 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73684210526 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 15.0 6.88822355289 218% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343939275181 0.218282227539 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.126437812174 0.0743258471296 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.125932303582 0.0701772020484 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21444969373 0.128457276422 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.127354283464 0.0628817314937 203% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.45 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.