The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing."During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Exper

The vice president of Alta Manufacturing argues that Alta Manufacturing can reduce the frequency of on-the-job accidents at Alta by shortening work shifts by one hour. Although this argument may seem convincing at first, the assumptions lead readers to doubt the validity of the argument.

First, the author assumes that sleep deprivation is the major factor of on-the-job accidents. However, this assumption is just an opinion and it is not proved objectively, and there are some other possible factors such as work intensity or work environment affecting the number of accidents other than sleep deprivation. If work intensity is the main factor of on-the-job accidents, reducing working time will not be effective for ameliorating accidents in company.

Second, the author makes an assumption that because of the difference between Alta Manufacturing and other nearby Panoply industries. The vice president is ignoring the fact that there could be other differences between these companies. For example, if other companies are providing safety training system and workers know ways to prevent on-the-job accidents better than workers in Alta Manufacturing, whether they have training system would be a critical factor which the vice president should consider.

A third assumption is that sleep time increased by one hour would be enough to reduce the number of accidents. Because of traits of three work time shifts, people who work in night shift are difficult to avoid fatigue regardless of duration of sleeping. Therefore, instead of reducing working time, devising system to relieve night workers' fatigue is possible to be more beneficial. For example, it could be providing massage service or assigning more workers in night shift to have break time.

In summary, the author’s claim is unpersuasive.

Votes
Average: 6.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The vice president of Alta Manufacturing...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to doubt the validity of the argument. First, the author assumes that sleep d...
^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r ameliorating accidents in company. Second, the author makes an assumption t...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the vice president should consider. A third assumption is that sleep time in...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s in night shift to have break time. In summary, the author's claim is u...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, third, for example, in fact, in summary, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1546.0 2260.96107784 68% => OK
No of words: 281.0 441.139720559 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.50177935943 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09427095027 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93170188652 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.526690391459 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 479.7 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.2187111526 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.923076923 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6153846154 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.38461538462 5.70786347227 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252847562249 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0884511693969 0.0743258471296 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0882858526583 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133269296358 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0757607941641 0.0628817314937 120% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.62 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1497 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.327 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.335 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.655 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5