The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.
"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resume's and interviewing skills."
Here Mira Vista college worry about the placement cell for graduates . Authors says at Mira Vista collage only 70 percent of graduates students apply for placement and only half of this placed. where as out side the college nearby Green Mountain College , Which has more business courses and more job counselors that's provide 90 percent of placement. So develop the placement cell at Mira Vista college provide more job counselors who helps to the students for seeking job.
First here write about near Green College that’s provide more business courses. This courses may be more specific about academics that's not provide Mira vista college , than it is possible students at green college more talented than Mira vista college and result as more student placed. Another term consider about counselor, here describe more counselor but we do not know how many counselor, it may be possible there are more counselors team that's provide jobs for student. Ultimately we can not predict here more mean how much courses and counselors.
Second here Green college claim that his 90 percent students are placed at various company. But does not specify actual no of students. Same as Mira Vista college claimed that 70 percent of student apply placement and half of that employed. So, We can not predict how many students are studies in these both institute . If particular numbers of student provides than we understand placement scenario very effectively but this lack of information we unable to judge both institutes.
Third ,Assumes that the Green Mountain college is good due to his placement scenarios ,that is certainly wrong because may be possible there are 100 students are studied there, And 90 percent are placed mean 90 students are placed out of 100. Where as Mira Vista college if 1000 students are studied and 70 percent are placed mean 700 students are placed. Than Mira Vista College is more good than green college. Also may be possible counselor at green mountain college more effective and called various MNCS for student, Where as Vista college counselor not as effective as green mountain college. There are various point and adequate information present here. Another thing is student knowledge if green college student more talented than those are placed. where as vista college students does not adequate knowledge than conflict occurs during placement so it is not necessary to hire more counselors.
Finally there are many flows in authors review. We can not say that authors certainly right for hiring more counselor staff at Vista college.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2018-03-13 | dhruvpatel | 53 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
the arguments are not exactly right on the point.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2107 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.029 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.314 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.95 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.543 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.408 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.595 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.211 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Here Mira Vista college worry about the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 105, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...y about the placement cell for graduates .Authors says at Mira Vista collage only...
^^
Line 2, column 107, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Authors
...about the placement cell for graduates .Authors says at Mira Vista collage only 70 per...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 119, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...acement cell for graduates .Authors says at Mira Vista collage only 70 percent of...
^^
Line 2, column 231, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Where
...placement and only half of this placed. where as out side the college nearby Green Mo...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 231, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...placement and only half of this placed. where as out side the college nearby Green Mount...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 240, Rule ID: OUT_SIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'outside'?
Suggestion: outside
... and only half of this placed. where as out side the college nearby Green Mountain Colle...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 290, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he college nearby Green Mountain College , Which has more business courses and mor...
^^
Line 2, column 349, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...usiness courses and more job counselors thats provide 90 percent of placement. So dev...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 140, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...es may be more specific about academics thats not provide Mira vista college , than i...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 176, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ics thats not provide Mira vista college , than it is possible students at green c...
^^
Line 3, column 389, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun counselor seems to be countable; consider using: 'many counselors'.
Suggestion: many counselors
...e more counselor but we do not know how many counselor, it may be possible there are more coun...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 455, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...possible there are more counselors team thats provide jobs for student. Ultimately we...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 536, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...y we can not predict here more mean how much courses and counselors. Seco...
^^^^
Line 4, column 4, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an how much courses and counselors. Second here Green college claim that hi...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 11, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ourses and counselors. Second here Green college claim that his 90 per...
^^
Line 5, column 126, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...us company. But does not specify actual no of students. Same as Mira Vista colleg...
^^
Line 5, column 128, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... company. But does not specify actual no of students. Same as Mira Vista college ...
^^
Line 5, column 324, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ents are studies in these both institute .If particular numbers of student provide...
^^
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...ts are studies in these both institute .If particular numbers of student provides ...
^^
Line 6, column 10, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ble to judge both institutes. Third ,Assumes that the Green Mountain college ...
^^
Line 6, column 90, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e is good due to his placement scenarios ,that is certainly wrong because may be p...
^^
Line 6, column 247, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Whereas'?
Suggestion: Whereas
...mean 90 students are placed out of 100. Where as Mira Vista college if 1000 students are...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 360, Rule ID: SENT_START_THEM[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Then'?
Suggestion: Then
...re placed mean 700 students are placed. Than Mira Vista College is more good than gr...
^^^^
Line 6, column 360, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Than” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...re placed mean 700 students are placed. Than Mira Vista College is more good than gr...
^^^^
Line 6, column 417, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ollege is more good than green college. Also may be possible counselor at green moun...
^^^^
Line 6, column 526, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Whereas'?
Suggestion: Whereas
...ve and called various MNCS for student, Where as Vista college counselor not as effectiv...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 763, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Where
...nt more talented than those are placed. where as vista college students does not adeq...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 763, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...nt more talented than those are placed. where as vista college students does not adequat...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 909, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... not necessary to hire more counselors. Finally there are many flows in authors ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 4, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...ecessary to hire more counselors. Finally there are many flows in authors review....
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...more counselor staff at Vista college.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, may, second, so, third, another thing
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 55.5748502994 50% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2175.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 419.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.19093078759 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39857947929 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.398568019093 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 674.1 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.562651015 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.75 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.95 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.4 5.70786347227 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 32.0 5.25449101796 609% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.437595629136 0.218282227539 200% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.174319879428 0.0743258471296 235% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.126126086072 0.0701772020484 180% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.269829750134 0.128457276422 210% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101916010065 0.0628817314937 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.