The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school Send the School offers instruction
The argument from the Mozart School of Music Web Site insinuates that it is one of the go to schools for music. The case presented in the quote to be valid, the arguments need to have evidence to back up to assumptions that can be made from the quote.For the argument that this school is one of the best schools available for music to hold up it requires proof for "well-known" graduates, as well as proof for the "most distinguished musicians in the area."
The school states that many of their graduates have been successful in the music industry. This leads to an assumption that if you put your child in their program they could become successful. However, there are no specific mentions of specific students. This may be on the website, but specific examples of successful graduates are necessary to prove this statement true. The school should also state how many of their graduates are"well-known and highly pain professional musicians" compared to the number of graduates that have not been as successful. Providing this counter-stament is important because doing well in the music industry has proven rather difficult; therefore, perspective students need a realistic statistic on what they could expect upon graduation.
The web site also states that their "faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area." This provides the assumption that compared to other schools, their faculty has the most expertise. To prove their faculty is has distinguished musicians, the school needs to appropriately present some of their faculties work. The obvious question is "How are the faculty at this school distinguished musicians?" The school needs to include quotes from non-biased reviews of their faculty members work. This would help prove the validity of that statement.
Another claim that the website makes is that students of "all ability and age levels" are welcome to attend. The school needs to be direct in how they separate these classes. Furthermore, will a student get to work with some of the more distinguished faculty if they are a beginner? If the experienced faculty only work with the advanced students, the website needs to appropriately state that.
The Mozart School of Music makes a variety of claims in the listed quote, that leads to many assumptions. For the argument that this school should be the first choice for students to learn about music, they need to further prove their claims on the success of their graduates, and the expertise of faculty.
- The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee."We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female educa 16
- College and Universities should require all faculty to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they take 16
- The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to atte 35
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 2038 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.923 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.67 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.645 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 46, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: Website
...rgument from the Mozart School of Music Web Site insinuates that it is one of the go to ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 252, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...mptions that can be made from the quote.For the argument that this school is one of...
^^^
Line 9, column 5, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: website
...could expect upon graduation. The web site also states that their 'faculty in...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 60, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...tates that their 'faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the are...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 232, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ermore, will a student get to work with some of the more distinguished faculty if they are ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2168.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 412.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26213592233 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10530152156 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.456310679612 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 646.2 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 93.115956285 57.8364921388 161% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.529411765 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2352941176 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.70588235294 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230706786129 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0827416197263 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0812440113635 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150827606482 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0862753635175 0.0628817314937 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 27.5 12.3882235529 222% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.