The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art department at the college.
"In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40 percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs, located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The letter form the group of Linford Alumni puts across the idea that requires students to complete an internship at Skyway Design before graduation for certain reasons. Although the letter game some reasons to support its claims but are backed by flawed assumptions.
First, the letter points out that 60% of the students who did not complete an internship with Skyways Designs had not been provided with jobs. The argument is very flawed - no part of the letter stated 60% did not complete an internship at a different firm. The 60% might have landed better roles at bigger firms than Skyways Design. Although the letter did not give evidence for the point raised, it is likely to happen.
Additionally, the letter makes a premise that Skyway Designs covers all the departments of design and also has ample capacity for each department.
This point lacks the right evidence backing - what if the most students are biased towards a particular aspects of Design and would want to join that department . Some departments might over exceed their limit and might turn some students away or force them all in which would be a problem for students and the design firm. The letter could have supported this point with the maximum capacity of the design firm and also the maximum capacity of each department. These would help the students when they are choosing which department to work with.
Furthermore, the letter points out that Skyway Designs is still in the state and a perfect choice for students before the recent survey. This point is very flawed - the letter did not state the timing of the survey , recent survey might be last 5 or 3 years ago. that is enough time for a new company to take over the market and even succeed in poaching some of their best employees. Technology is moving up and many companies are looking for more advances ways to improve production. The company might not be able to teach the students modern ways of design. Skyway Design is a good firm but basing on past glories for good work without properly navigating their current and their demand on the market. The alumni group needs to look for factual evidence to back this claim.
In conclusion, the notion that the students should be made to complete an internship before is a very good idea. When in school the students are mostly though with case studies and theories hence the internship is a chance for them to get hands on working experience. The right systems must be put in place for that to happen. The writers should define the problem at hand first and find the right evidences need to found to support the letter and the claims.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 12, Rule ID: FROM_FORM[4]
Message: Did you mean 'from'?
Suggestion: from
The letter form the group of Linford Alumni puts across...
^^^^
Line 1, column 12, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'forms'.
Suggestion: forms
The letter form the group of Linford Alumni puts across...
^^^^
Line 6, column 105, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'aspect'?
Suggestion: aspect
...tudents are biased towards a particular aspects of Design and would want to join that d...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 161, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...n and would want to join that department . Some departments might over exceed thei...
^^
Line 8, column 215, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r did not state the timing of the survey , recent survey might be last 5 or 3 year...
^^
Line 8, column 264, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
... survey might be last 5 or 3 years ago. that is enough time for a new company to tak...
^^^^
Line 10, column 388, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...efine the problem at hand first and find the right evidences need to found to sup...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, look, so, still, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2176.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 456.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77192982456 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33715895047 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475877192982 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 639.0 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.4330206186 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 98.9090909091 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7272727273 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.27272727273 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133658199675 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0460884932058 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0394421264138 0.0701772020484 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0829070902267 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0378944920391 0.0628817314937 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 48.3550499002 141% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 12, Rule ID: FROM_FORM[4]
Message: Did you mean 'from'?
Suggestion: from
The letter form the group of Linford Alumni puts across...
^^^^
Line 1, column 12, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'forms'.
Suggestion: forms
The letter form the group of Linford Alumni puts across...
^^^^
Line 6, column 105, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'aspect'?
Suggestion: aspect
...tudents are biased towards a particular aspects of Design and would want to join that d...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 161, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...n and would want to join that department . Some departments might over exceed thei...
^^
Line 8, column 215, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r did not state the timing of the survey , recent survey might be last 5 or 3 year...
^^
Line 8, column 264, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
... survey might be last 5 or 3 years ago. that is enough time for a new company to tak...
^^^^
Line 10, column 388, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...efine the problem at hand first and find the right evidences need to found to sup...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, look, so, still, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2176.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 456.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77192982456 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33715895047 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475877192982 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 639.0 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.4330206186 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 98.9090909091 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7272727273 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.27272727273 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133658199675 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0460884932058 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0394421264138 0.0701772020484 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0829070902267 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0378944920391 0.0628817314937 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 48.3550499002 141% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.