The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe. “Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is ‘Jazz Nightly,’ which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable.”
The argument stated by the group of developer in monroe, that having a jazz music club will be most profitable, to launch an application for a small-business loan. they had assumed many assumptions to sanction their claim. it is the arguments contains tremendous holes due to the assumptions made by the group of developers. However, if the author is able to explain a stronger evidence for all the below assumptions, then the argument will be valid.
Firstly, the group has mainly taken a year measure to calculate the popularity of the jazz music in the monroe city, which might not be hold true for the general cases, because they might be chances that the summer festival tickets were freely available for the city peoples. By which they have seen a huge crowd of 1 lakh people in the fest. Also, they might be chances that the people from other places had arrived to see the music performance. this might not completely, state the popularity of the jazz team in monroe, hence the argument will have no water, if this assumption will not be added with stronger proofs.
Secondly, the nearest jazz club would be an hour away from some locations, but as a city it will have many locations and the distance from all the city locations to the club might not be an hour. Moreover, the city has many different types of transport and the travel time between the transport varies based on the path we choose, so stating the distance exactly one hour might make the argument false.
Lastly, from the nationwide survey they concluded that around 1K is spend by each fan in a year on the jazz entertainment shows, this survey might be true for only rich fans of the music club, as the assumption does not clearly state about the financial condition of the fans who pay this much amount on jazz events. because, they can be non-rich fans of the jazz, who might not be able to pay this much high amount in the events. having the assumption with these faults will make the argument weaker.
In conclusion, the application stated by the group of the developers of the city monroe, can only be valid if the above assumptions are considered with stronger evidence by the author and using these hypothetical examples the author can make the assumptions more stronger to the argument than weakening it.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-07-13 | Befoj | 59 | view |
| 2022-09-27 | ctoluwasedaniel | 59 | view |
| 2022-06-11 | Prabesh Dhakal | 69 | view |
| 2021-11-23 | etcheung | 73 | view |
| 2021-10-02 | miqbalhilmi | 50 | view |
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 402 350
No. of Characters: 1846 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.592 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.445 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 44.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.843 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.438 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.766 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 165, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
... application for a small-business loan. they had assumed many assumptions to sanctio...
^^^^
Line 1, column 224, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ny assumptions to sanction their claim. it is the arguments contains tremendous ho...
^^
Line 3, column 448, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...d arrived to see the music performance. this might not completely, state the popular...
^^^^
Line 5, column 10, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...added with stronger proofs. Secondly, the nearest jazz club would be an hour a...
^^
Line 5, column 221, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
... not be an hour. Moreover, the city has many different types of transport and the travel time ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 69, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'spent'.
Suggestion: spent
...survey they concluded that around 1K is spend by each fan in a year on the jazz enter...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 318, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...ho pay this much amount on jazz events. because, they can be non-rich fans of the jazz,...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 432, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Having
...ay this much high amount in the events. having the assumption with these faults will m...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 503, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e faults will make the argument weaker. In conclusion, the application stated by...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 259, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'stronger' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: stronger
...les the author can make the assumptions more stronger to the argument than weakening it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1898.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 402.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72139303483 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52511946473 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.462686567164 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 576.0 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 84.4741537576 57.8364921388 146% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.571428571 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.7142857143 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57142857143 5.70786347227 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190352116844 0.218282227539 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0679501376185 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0731219590382 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108699647917 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0437342757516 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.98 48.3550499002 124% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.8 12.197005988 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.69 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.