An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The author's argument that this new breed of millet high in vitamin A will combat vitamin A deficiency in Tagus might be true but is rife with holes and assumptions which does not allow the author to make a valid case in this context. Vitamins are essential for sustaining a healthy and happy life. If you are healthy and have a sound mind you can achieve whatever you wish for. A healthy body is essential for growth of the person and his mental peace.
Primarily, I would like to argue the author's assumption of being sure that this new engineered breed will definitely combat vitamin A deficiency, how can the author be sure about this as he as not provide any past occurrences of use of this new engineered breed, it might do more harm than good, it might make people sick with any other disease. Neither the author has provided any previous evidence of the new breed's efficiency to combat the deficiency nor any survey is provided to prove that fact that it actually helps to combat the deficiency.
Secondarily, the author mentions here that the government is providing subsidies to grow this new breed of millet as they are expensive but it is based on the assumptions that all farmers will agree to grow this new engineered seed rather than what they used to grow earlier, there might be farmers which refuse to do so because of the extra efforts they would need to do to plant these new seeds and it might require more precise attention to grow the new engineered seeds. The author also takes the assumptions that this new seed will have all the adequate environment need to flourish.
Moreover, the author assumes that as millet is a staple food in Tagus the people will readily accept the new variety, it might be true but what if the people deny to use this new variety and ask questions of its effectiveness, what if the new variety does not taste like the old one. But if we consider the that all things fall into place and the new variety is grown properly and the people of Tagus accept the new variety and the deficiency is also cured, there might be a possibility that it did provide the cure but harms the person slowly in an insidious way as the new engineered seed was not tested.
Lastly, I would like to conclude that the author could not support his argument. He as not provided any evidence to support his point. He should have studied more such cases and provided examples. A survey would have been good to get a superficial knowledge.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. This is not the loophole.
argument 2 -- simply: maybe the cost is more than the subsidies .
argument 3 -- simply: maybe people don't like the taste.
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Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 444 350
No. of Characters: 1991 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.59 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.484 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.361 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 24.123 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.637 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.195 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors argument that this new breed of millet ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 38, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... Primarily, I would like to argue the authors assumption of being sure that this new ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 545, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an insidious way" with adverb for "insidious"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...de the cure but harms the person slowly in an insidious way as the new engineered seed was not test...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 235, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[4]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'superficial knowledge'.
Suggestion: superficial knowledge
...s. A survey would have been good to get a superficial knowledge.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, lastly, moreover, second, so, mind you
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2033.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 444.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.57882882883 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42197765743 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.439189189189 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 642.6 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 131.303764498 57.8364921388 227% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 145.214285714 119.503703932 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.7142857143 23.324526521 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.356053446466 0.218282227539 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110954196876 0.0743258471296 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100959575579 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193034716921 0.128457276422 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0921692764226 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.93 48.3550499002 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.88 12.5979740519 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.