An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
While the actions of the international development organisations seems to be avoid the deficiency in vitamin A among the people of Tagus, there are some flaws in the argument of the organisation which will be highlighted in the forthcoming paragraphs.
The argument first says that the organisation has engineered a new brand of millet with more vitamin A content. However, it is an international organisation and hence may not have a proper idea of the lifestyle of the people of the country and their eating habits. Any experimentation based on the new variety of millet should ensure that the normal activity of the people shouldn't be affected for addressing the vitamin A deficiency problem among the people. For instance if the millet contains some other vitamin or minerals which aid their general activity and the new variety is lacking in these then it will result in drastic and unwanted changes in the lifestyle of the people in the country.
The argument states that even though the seeds of the new type of millet will cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. However, it also says that Tagus is an impoverished version so many farmers are poor and may not be able to afford these crops despite all the subsidies. One more problem is that these farmers would mostly be depending upon their harvest for survival and hence as a result may not be willing to take a risk by farming a new type of crop as they may result in failure too which would further result in more poverty due to crop failures. So, the farmers may not prefer the unknown crop as it could be dangerous for their harvest and instead might wish to go with the old millet crops itself.
The argument also says that the people will accept it because millet is the staple food in Tagus. However, with the price of the millet seeds itself is costly, the millet themselves will also be costly and most of the people in Tagus, who are suffering from poverty and are not educated on the benefits of vitamin A and the danger of vitamin deficiency may not buy these new varieties. Thus, the people of Tagus may not understand about the difference between the old and new varieties of millet and might end up buying the old variety itself which will mostly cost lesser than the new variety.So, the millet despite being staple food of Tagus might not be accepted by the people of the country easily. So even if the government of Tagus does everything to promote this new type of millet, unless the prices are low and the citizens are educated on the importance of vitamin A, the new variety of millet won't be accepted by the people of the country.
From the above explanations, it is clear that the argument despite being perfect in first glance has a lot of flaws in this which has to be rectified in order to address the problem of vitamin A deficiency among the people of Tagus.
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- An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be p 49
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. //your argument 2
condition 2:
Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. //maybe people don't like the taste
conclusion:
To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet. //maybe there are better solutions.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 517 350
No. of Characters: 2345 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.768 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.536 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.457 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.256 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.44 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.658 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ghted in the forthcoming paragraphs. The argument first says that the organis...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 379, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
... that the normal activity of the people shouldnt be affected for addressing the vitamin ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...estyle of the people in the country. The argument states that even though the...
^^^^
Line 5, column 370, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...blem is that these farmers would mostly be depending upon their harvest for survival and hen...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...go with the old millet crops itself. The argument also says that the people w...
^^^^
Line 7, column 599, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...mostly cost lesser than the new variety.So, the millet despite being staple food o...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cepted by the people of the country. From the above explanations, it is clear...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, may, so, then, thus, while, as to, for instance, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2386.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 514.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6420233463 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76146701107 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51616524217 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.387159533074 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 761.4 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 36.0 22.8473053892 158% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.3141872345 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 170.428571429 119.503703932 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 36.7142857143 23.324526521 157% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.64285714286 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.506192595451 0.218282227539 232% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.205780358473 0.0743258471296 277% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0894268943648 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.28514874671 0.128457276422 222% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0714684889725 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.8 14.3799401198 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.4 48.3550499002 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.197005988 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.4 11.1389221557 147% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.