"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
In this memo, the owner of a chain of U.S. based cheese stores is recommending to reduce expenses by limiting the inventory. For this author suggests reducing storage of the imported cheeses. To support the recommendation the author presents some information. But there are some questions which author should answer in order to strengthen the argument.
Firstly, the author presents information about best-selling cheeses at newest store in last year but fails to provide any more details about sales from other stores in the chain. The author compared sales from the newest store to sales from other stores in the chain. Only one store has best-selling domestic cheeses does not conclude that all the customers of stores in the chain like domestic cheeses. Also, it may be possible that people in the neighbourhood in which the newest store is located, they prefer domestic cheeses over imported cheeses. So more information about the newest store is necessary.
Furthermore, the author fails to mention how the survey was conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine. Data of in which cities the survey was done is not provided, which is important to prove the credibility of the survey. It is possible that the survey was done in cities where the chain does not own any stores. In addition, the data about what questions were asked, what their salaries were, what age group they belonged, etcetera is not given. It could be a case where some subscribers like domestic cheeses because of their lower prices rather than it’s taste, or they belong to specific age-group. So the decision depends on the reliability of survey.
Lastly, the author fails to answer the question about how much profit both types of cheeses made by their sale. There is a possibility in which imported cheeses are more profitable than domestic cheeses, if this is the case then discontinuing stockings of imported cheeses will eventually lead to loss in the business. Not to forget, the author does not answer the questions if these stores sell any other products than these cheeses and if limiting inventory does any effects on their profits or not.
In the end, it seems that the author's argument fails to answer the questions discussed above. The author's recommendation to improve profits by discontinuing stockings of imported cheeses and by focusing on domestic cheeses, is flawed. So the decision should not be made based on the author's argument.
- "For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent su 77
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- The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College."To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number ofnew dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on 23
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 1987 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.931 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.569 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.055 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 327, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'conclude'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: conclude
... best-selling domestic cheeses does not concludes that all the customers of stores in the...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 327, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'conclude'
Suggestion: conclude
... best-selling domestic cheeses does not concludes that all the customers of stores in the...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 406, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...res in the chain like domestic cheeses. Also it may be possible that people in the n...
^^^^
Line 5, column 395, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , what
...ons were asked, what their salaries were,what age group they belonged, etcetera is no...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 474, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... is not given. It could be a case where some of the subscribers like domestic cheeses becau...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 31, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... not. In the end, it seems that the authors argument fails to answer the questions ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 99, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...swer the questions discussed above. The authors recommendation to improve profits by di...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 284, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ecision should not be made based on the authors argument.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, if, lastly, may, so, then, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2051.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07673267327 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65541688801 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.428217821782 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 632.7 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.0464601614 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.6666666667 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2380952381 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.71428571429 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.30426176385 0.218282227539 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0944479426371 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0957307294649 0.0701772020484 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163115333718 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.119198573979 0.0628817314937 190% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.