“A novel therapy has come to our attention that promises to significantly decrease the incidence of dementia in our aging community. According to a 21-year study led by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and funded by the National Institute on Aging, while many physical activities like playing tennis or golf, swimming, bicycling, dancing, and walking for exercise provided cardiovascular benefits for seniors, only one physical activity offered protection against dementia: that was frequent dancing. At GoldenAge we currently provide residents with extensive recreational facilities. These include tennis courts, a fitness center, and lap pools in each senior apartment complex. However, we have no dance studio space at GoldenAge, nor any social dance programs.
Clearly, social dancing can prevent or delay the onset of dementia. Since the onset of dementia inevitably signals the imminent move of residents from our independent living apartments to the more heavily staffed and therefore more costly to operate assisted living quarters, we recommend the establishment of social dance programs at all GoldenAge senior residences—as a cost-effective, positive way to ward off dementia and enable our residents to remain in their independent living quarters.”
This report aims to summarize some suggestions which may reduce and also facilitate people with Dementia. There are a number of flaws in the arguments and the reasoning associated with them, in this entire report.
Firstly, the author states, that a research was carried out over a period of 21 years, the authenticity of which may or may not be genuine. This is the same as saying cucumbers help cure bad eye-sight, based on a 21 year old study carried out by an institution. The flaw lies in the fact that no reason was given for why dancing helps cure or improve dementia while walking or jogging may not have the same impact. To any observer, dancing and running both require the body to move, and clearly have similar results, then why is it that one offers a positive result, while the other seems to do nothing. The report fails to mark this very distinction; therefore it seems difficult to believe that dancing would cause an improvement in people with dementia while walking would not.
Again the author makes the assumption that dancing will help alleviate some of the symptoms of dementia or at least delay its onset, the report provides no details on why such an activity would work in the first place. Also what are the chances that people will be eager to dance, if an option for playing tennis existed? Did they conduct a survey, or was this again just an assumption that could be improbable.
Lastly the author claims, that in order to prevent its customers from moving from their independent apartments, to those that are heavily staffed, dance programs should be invested in seniors residences. This is again a refutable assumption, which clearly has not been surveyed. Maybe the elderly feel comfort in living in staffed residences, hence they move to them. Also having the elderly take dance classes is a major risk that their bodies are not capable of. Hence, this is another bad idea to invest in.
In conclusion, the author should really survey this area, and provide citations for all the claims made, in order to come to a balanced conclusion which will be beneficial for the corporation.
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- “A novel therapy has come to our attention that promises to significantly decrease the incidence of dementia in our aging community. According to a 21-year study led by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and funded by the National Institute on Aging, 65
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
You have to accept whatever the topic told are true. and then try to find out loopholes.
Get ideas from this essay:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/novel-therapy-has-c…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 366 350
No. of Characters: 1707 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.374 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.664 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.366 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.395 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5