“A novel therapy has come to our attention that promises to significantly decrease the incidence of dementia in our aging community. According to a 21-year study led by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and funded by the National Institute on Aging, while many physical activities like playing tennis or golf, swimming, bicycling, dancing, and walking for exercise provided cardiovascular benefits for seniors, only one physical activity offered protection against dementia: that was frequent dancing. At GoldenAge we currently provide residents with extensive recreational facilities. These include tennis courts, a fitness center, and lap pools in each senior apartment complex. However, we have no dance studio space at GoldenAge, nor any social dance programs.
Clearly, social dancing can prevent or delay the onset of dementia. Since the onset of dementia inevitably signals the imminent move of residents from our independent living apartments to the more heavily staffed and therefore more costly to operate assisted living quarters, we recommend the establishment of social dance programs at all GoldenAge senior residences—as a cost-effective, positive way to ward off dementia and enable our residents to remain in their independent living quarters.”
The argument that social dancing can prevent or delay of dementia is not entirely logically convincing.
The argument assumes that frequent dancing and other physical activities like playing golf, swimming, walking, among others can offer protection against dementia according to a 21-year study led by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine carried out and yet, there is no proof to show that this is possible.
The argument never addresses the type of study that was carried out. What questions were asked? Who were those asked these questions? What were the natures of the questions asked? What was the method in which this study was carried out, was it oral interview or through questionnaires? Without knowing exactly who the correspondents were and the type of questions they were asked and what response the correspondents gave, it is difficult to accept this conclusion made by the author. Perhaps the correspondents might not understand the question asked, then answered wrongly.
According to the author, this research is a 21-year study. What happened 21-years ago are quite different from what is happening now, the correspondents during which the study was carried out would be different from the current population. Also, the location which this study was carried was not identified by the author. Even though the assumption is true, the current conclusion can we weakened by the study design.
The argument assumes that because Golden Age cannot offer dance study space or any social dance programs led residents to move out of the Golden Age senior residence is a causal and effect assumption, and cannot be justified. Residents might move out for several other reasons not related to the inability of Golden Age not being able to offer dancing facilities. Perhaps, residents can’t afford to pay their bills any longer or they are having another residence of their choice.
Thus, the argument is not completely sound. The evidence in support of the conclusion that dancing offers protection against dementia is not enough to support the author’s conclusion because the assumptions raised are not well addressed. Ultimately, the argument might have been strengthen if the author could have provided the location of the study, the correspondents for the study and the type of questions asked during the study.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-14 | Haphisz | 49 | view |
| 2019-01-14 | Kaurab Gautam | 72 | view |
| 2015-07-31 | damon salvatore | 65 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1913 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.129 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.641 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.855 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.263 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...oof to show that this is possible. The argument never addresses the type of st...
^^^
Line 21, column 285, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'strengthened'.
Suggestion: strengthened
...ltimately, the argument might have been strengthen if the author could have provided the l...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, so, then, thus, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1990.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 373.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.33512064343 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73949776761 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477211796247 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 597.6 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 74.3435910424 57.8364921388 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.736842105 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6315789474 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.57894736842 5.70786347227 28% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.115237273862 0.218282227539 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0352880294754 0.0743258471296 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0447875145711 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0684008547982 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0547247964765 0.0628817314937 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.69 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.