In the argument presented, based on some survey, the author claims that there is an aversion to the intake of food containing fat and cholesterol. The author goes on to predict that since many of the products offered by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company will be soon be prone to decrease in sales and eventually result in loss. The claims being made seem promising, however on close inspection we find some unanswered questions.
Firstly, the entire claim made by the author is solely on the basis of a survey, which states that eighty percent of the respondents desire for a healthier choice of food. However nowhere in the argument, does the author provide any source of credibility to certify this survey. The claim does not provide any information about the respondents themselves and in turn leave room for questions, like what age group was considered for the survey, when was the survey taken and does the survey account for people from all walks of life. A brief description about the respondents would have helped strengthen the argument.
Next, the argument hastily assumes that, since many products offered by Old Dairy Industry are high in fat and cholesterol, the company is prone to loss of sales. The point of concerns here is the author fails to provide an exact figure for the number of products, like what does the author mean by "many products". It may happen that, if the company offers, for example, fifty products out of which thirty products are high in fat and cholesterol. Although the number still qualifies as being "many", there are still other products that can fetch profits for the company. Thus a specified number in terms of percentage of products would have eliminated this loophole.
Finally, the author arrives at an extreme conclusion that since the Old Dairy Industry will soon sink in loss, stock holders should sell their stake and new investors should refrain from investing in the company. This conclusion seems far fetched as there can still be other ways for the company to make profits. Instead of arriving at such an extreme measure, the author should have proposed the Old Dairy Industry to switch to products with low fats and cholesterol to cope with the changing market.
In conclusion, it is seen that the author presents some powerful argument, however fails to account for the small loopholes which in turn leaves room for doubts.
- Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol and today low fat products abound in many food stores Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy 55
- Claim In any situation the best way to persuade other people is to present them with facts and statistics rather than with emotional arguments Reason Facts are objective so they are more persuasive than subjective appeals 50
- 45 The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent During the same year Omni showed a signif 73
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 1961 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.795 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.395 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.909 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.606 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 173, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... desire for a healthier choice of food. However nowhere in the argument, does the autho...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 594, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...that can fetch profits for the company. Thus a specified number in terms of percent...
^^^^
Line 5, column 629, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...any. Thus a specified number in terms of percentage of products would have elimin...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, still, then, thus, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2039.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 409.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98533007335 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61872915011 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488997555012 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 616.5 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.1108649225 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.4375 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5625 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.75 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259285337629 0.218282227539 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0893324224751 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0767301806827 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131577966454 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0819559166468 0.0628817314937 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.