Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the given prompt, the author concludes that Pirouettes Ballet School is the best ballet school in Elmtown. The author arrives at this conclusion based on the premise that it has the most intensive program and that their teachers have danced in most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. The conclusion drawn by the author might hold water, it rests on several unwarranted assumptions that, if not substantiated, dramatically weakenes the persuasiveness of the argument. Before we could evaluate the conclusion, the following questions must be addressed.
First of all, the author cites that the Pirouettes Ballet School has the most intensive program. On what premise,is the program demeed as the most intensive? It is unclear, however, the scope and reliabilty of the assertion. It is possible that the sample may not have been the representatives of all the ballet schools in Elmtown. A plethora of factors determine whether a certain program is good or bad. It is higly likely that the author may not have considered all the factors pertaining to ballet dancing. Some factors might include, the fees, accredition and timing flexibilty. If either of the above scenarios has merit, then the conclusion drawn in the origianl argument is significantly flawed.
Furthermore, how many alumnus of the Pirouettes Ballet School have acyually gone on to become professional dancers with the top dance companies? The author fails to offer data to bolster his claim. It is highely likely that the school would have invigorated the actual numbers to enhance it's reputation. It is also possible that only a handful of students have excelled and reached the epitome of ballet dancing and moreover attributing to their inherent talent and skill. We must take cognizance of the fact taht each student have their own learning curve and ability to construe. Also, the wording are higly ambigupus and vague. Many of students and top dance companies do not provide additional details, which enervates the argument further. If the above is true, then the argument does not hold water.
Finally, the author assumes that having adept teahers would necessarily mean that the student will learn better and quicker. However, this might not be the case. Perhaps, having a teacher having danced for some of the most prestifious companies over the world would have become complacant and invariably hindering the learning process of the student. Morover, many factors affect the teching process such as the motivation, skillset and the candid relation between the student and the teacher. It is probable that an inadept teacher, perhaps one who has not danced for such prestigious comapnies, might teach well better than former. If the above is warranted, then the argument is weakened.
In sum, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unfounded assumptions. If the above is able to address the questions raised above and perhaps furnish data to bolster his claim, then we could evaluate the viability of the argument to declare Pirouettes Ballet School as the best ballet school in Elmtown
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 507 350
No. of Characters: 2559 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.745 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.047 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.627 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 201 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.107 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.655 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.447 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 113, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , is
... most intensive program. On what premise,is the program demeed as the most intensiv...
^^^
Line 3, column 278, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...le that the sample may not have been the representatives of all the ballet school...
^^
Line 6, column 18, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun alumnus seems to be countable; consider using: 'many alumni'.
Suggestion: many alumni
...ificantly flawed. Furthermore, how many alumnus of the Pirouettes Ballet School have ac...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 106, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
...sarily mean that the student will learn better and quicker. However, this might not be...
^^^^^^
Line 10, column 141, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ded assumptions. If the above is able to address the questions raised above and p...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, well, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2633.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 506.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20355731225 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7428307748 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72428159856 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.48023715415 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 801.0 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.3643036479 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.0357142857 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0714285714 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.75 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.456373095245 0.218282227539 209% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108204105386 0.0743258471296 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.124893967878 0.0701772020484 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.253785401521 0.128457276422 198% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0731272112583 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.58 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 133.0 98.500998004 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.