"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can ın plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument states that stimulation in human beings in various cases depend upon the birth order. While the conclusion might seem resoulte but the expanation given to support the claim is not sound and also can be easily quesstioned.
first of all, the experiment is done with only with 18 rhesus monkey, just by looking at the response of the 18 monkeys, and generalizing the same case in human beings does not seems relevant. if the experiment was done once, then it is hard to rely on the result because for any research result to be approved as true, the experiment has to be perfomed numbers of time. if only the writer had mention the numbers time of repition of the experiment, then the conclusion could hold some water.
Second, the writer states that stimulation in human is also the same as the monkey. human beings are evloved beings. As compare to other creature their neurological development is high. so to jump into conclusion that human respond in the same way as the money does not sound convencing. what if the same experiment was to be done in human and the result is not the same? so to draw analogy with human, experiments done with the human children would be more appropriate.
Finally, the writer states during the pregnancy, the first time mother monkey produce more cortisol than the other monkey who already had offspring. what number of the monkeys among 18 were pregnant? How many had off springs? what number of the monkey were first born moneky? if answer to these questioned were given then the experiment could be more elucide and meaningful. so more infromation about the experiment is needed to jump into the implication. also,
In summary, as explained above, the writer seems to jump hastily into conclusion and to come to this conclusion more informations about research and experiment with the human spices is also needed. only then the conclusio can be validate.
- People s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole 50
- A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual s levels of stimulation The study showed that in stimulating situations such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey firstborn infant monkeys prod 45
- Claim When planning courses educators should take into account the interests and suggestions of their students Reason Students are more motivated to learn when they are interested in what they are studying Write a response in which you discuss the extent 54
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 327 350
No. of Characters: 1541 1500
No. of Different Words: 151 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.252 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.713 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.477 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 30.897 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.439 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.607 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...nd and also can be easily quesstioned. first of all, the experiment is done with onl...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 63, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'monkey' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'monkeys'.
Suggestion: monkeys
...riment is done with only with 18 rhesus monkey, just by looking at the response of the...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 178, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'seem'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: seem
... the same case in human beings does not seems relevant. if the experiment was done on...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 178, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'seem'
Suggestion: seem
... the same case in human beings does not seems relevant. if the experiment was done on...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 193, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...n human beings does not seems relevant. if the experiment was done once, then it i...
^^
Line 2, column 371, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ent has to be perfomed numbers of time. if only the writer had mention the numbers...
^^
Line 2, column 394, Rule ID: HAD_VBP[1]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'mentioned'.
Suggestion: mentioned
...numbers of time. if only the writer had mention the numbers time of repition of the exp...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 85, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Human
...n human is also the same as the monkey. human beings are evloved beings. As compare t...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 118, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...onkey. human beings are evloved beings. As compare to other creature their neurolo...
^^
Line 4, column 187, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...their neurological development is high. so to jump into conclusion that human resp...
^^
Line 4, column 289, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...as the money does not sound convencing. what if the same experiment was to be done i...
^^^^
Line 4, column 373, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...n human and the result is not the same? so to draw analogy with human, experiments...
^^
Line 6, column 151, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...ther monkey who already had offspring. what number of the monkeys among 18 were pre...
^^^^
Line 6, column 228, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...ere pregnant? How many had off springs? what number of the monkey were first born mo...
^^^^
Line 6, column 278, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...r of the monkey were first born moneky? if answer to these questioned were given t...
^^
Line 6, column 377, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...t could be more elucide and meaningful. so more infromation about the experiment i...
^^
Line 6, column 458, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...is needed to jump into the implication. also, In summary, as explained above, the ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 463, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eded to jump into the implication. also, In summary, as explained above, the writ...
^^^
Line 7, column 199, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Only
...t with the human spices is also needed. only then the conclusio can be validate.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, look, second, so, then, while, as to, in summary, first of all, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 7.0 28.8173652695 24% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1585.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 327.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.84709480122 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57383009754 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.483180428135 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 500.4 705.55239521 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.4719082677 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.4210526316 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2105263158 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.78947368421 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0961601660668 0.218282227539 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0368743972866 0.0743258471296 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0505246466099 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0571196951896 0.128457276422 44% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0282270361344 0.0628817314937 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 14.3799401198 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.55 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.