Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage. One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs-only apartment buildings (that is, buildings without elevators) live an average of three years longer than do people who live in buildings with both elevators and stairs. A second study shows that elderly residents of buildings with elevators make, on average, twice as many visits to doctors each year as do residents of buildings without elevators. Furthermore, several doctor's offices are reporting that residents of stairs-only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires administered to new patients, in which the patients were asked to rate several aspects of their own health (e.g., fitness, sleep quality, susceptibility to injury, etc.). The clearest explanation for these findings is that the moderate daily exercise required of residents who must use the stairs instead of elevators increases people's health and longevity.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author is substantiating a claim by suggesting the findings from the studies as reliant and thereby claims that moderate daily exercise by using stairs instead of elevators increases people’s health and longevity. However, this conclusion drawn by the author is predicated on flawed assumptions and is insufficiently supported by the findings from the studies as deemed by the author. In order to substantiate the author’s remark on his observation, more information is required.
The author begins by stating that one recently completed study shows that people living in stairs only apartment buildings live an average of three years longer than those people who live in buildings of both elevators and stairs. The author seems to ignore the fundamental data required to support such a finding. The recent study, however, doesn’t provide any evidence with the number of people, from the different type of buildings as considered by the author, subjected to the case study. We do not know the demographics of the test subjects who were subjected to the study. Perhaps the study was biased, to clement a thought into the minds of the ordinary people that exercising in the form of using stairs is beneficial rather than using elevators. Perhaps, for the sole reason, the number of people examined for the study using elevators were severely less compared to stair using people, thereby getting differences in the average ages among the people examined. Therefore, without positing relevant evidence, the author simply believes on the findings that is holding not much significance.
Moreover, the second study shows that on an average, the residents using elevator visit doctors twice compared to those using stairs. However, there is no mention in the study about the possibility of the different factors affecting the individual or elderly residents reporting sickness. Perhaps, the elderly residents using elevators live in apartments that consist of more floors, like those having about 20 or more, and they tend to prefer using elevators rather stairs for their outdoor or indoor visits. Also, they may be living in cities, making a visit to doctors on a daily basis is very convenient as many such apartments tend to have clinics within their building premises. Unlike people living in buildings, with stairs, who prefer not to travel or visit outdoor because it is lethargic to use stairs frequently when they are staying in topmost floor of the building, therefore they prefer not to visit outdoor, hence, not visit doctors as well. Such aspects cannot be denied while evaluating the author’s argument.
Additionally, the author also mentions that several doctors’ offices reported that residents of stairs-only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires in which patients were asked to rate several aspects of their own health. The author is again predicating on flawed assumptions. However, we cannot ignore the factors that influences people regarding their health. It can be due to the professional concerns, security concerns and several other factors that lead to experiencing reduced health related qualities. Perhaps, people from stairs-only did not experience trouble with their professional life and were significantly easy going compared to people using elevators. Therefore, their health aspects did not deviate as much, and they lived in rural areas perhaps engaged in works that required them to do task physically, thereby keeping them healthy. Therefore, without much supporting evidences to the findings of the study, the author’s conclusion on the argument cannot be properly evaluated.
While using stairs can be beneficial as it can have significant health benefits, but while making such a claim, the author doesn’t address valid supporting evidences. With the additional supporting information and addressing the evidences as discussed in the previous paragraphs, the author’s argument can be evaluated thoroughly.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 619 350
No. of Characters: 3274 1500
No. of Different Words: 273 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.988 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.289 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.697 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 272 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 196 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 133 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 87 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.76 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.365 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.496 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 316, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ata required to support such a finding. The recent study, however, doesn’t provide ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, so, therefore, well, while, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3373.0 2260.96107784 149% => OK
No of words: 617.0 441.139720559 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.46677471637 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98392262146 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81402128672 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 289.0 204.123752495 142% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.468395461912 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 1034.1 705.55239521 147% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7719069066 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.92 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.68 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34917733019 0.218282227539 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0906298258199 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.128127737699 0.0701772020484 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183911963733 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.13359345134 0.0628817314937 212% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.74 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.05 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 165.0 98.500998004 168% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.