SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's original headquarters. Moreover, Middlesburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
The argument presented in the passage is effectively a cost benefit analysis, but with basically no attention paid to the costs, and very little to the quantification of either. There is no discussion of the costs of moving to either the corportation or its employees, whether the relationship between taxes and cheapness or safety is substantiated and whether homeownership is really the correct quality by which to judge a city's superiority. The argument rests on these points, each of which rests on assumptions made by its author which are not supported.
The central assumption underlying this argument is that the benefits of the move, no matter how well substantiated, outweigh the costs. But nowhere in the statement is there an elucidation of the costs of moving Supercorp's headquarters. Moving has costs for both the firm and its employees. Those costs range from the most direct, like moving boxes and trucks, to more pernicious forms, like broken friendships and halved school years for the children of employees. It is entirely possible to grant that Corporateville is superior to Middlesburg in every way but still believe that the very substantial costs of moving exceed the benefits of doing so. The argument could be improved substantially by trying to explain ways in which the company made those costs less significant, or simply by quantifying their magnitude so that the reader could try to judge for themselves whether the assumed benefits are worth it. This statement does neither.
Granting that the benefits are real is not substantiated either, however. Like wieghing the benefits and costs of the move, the benefits and costs of homeownership and renting need to be weighed if increased homeownership is presented as a benefit. While homeownership may have tax advantages and act as a form of savings through buiulding equity, renting can be just as beneficial if the price is right. Renters don't have to deal with repair costs and are not on the hook for large sums of money if the economy turns sour. Beyond that, the argument implies that the increase in homeownership in Corporateville is related to the move (i.e. that Corporateville employees are buying homes). This isn't a safe assumption either. The rise in homeownership could be due to other businesses moving in, changes int he macroeconomic climate or even just purchases by people who already lived in town. Strengthening this portion of the argument would require some comparison of the costs of buying in Corporateville vs. renting in Middlesburg, and possibly a before and after the move survey of homeownership rates by SuperCorp employees.
There is a lot left to be desired by the argument's last point as well. It posits a relationship between low taxes and low crime, as well as between low taxes and low costs. The former is particularly strange, and it's easy to imagine the opposite effect bieng true: more taxes allow better police which lower crime. At the very least, the author must provide some kind of empirical backing for that claim. The latter seems more tenable as taxes more directly lead to higher costs. Even then, they also lead to higher levels of public goods. By their very nature, public goods like roads, education or utilities will be underprovisioned without tax subsidies. It is entirely possible, with the evidence provided by the argument, to assume that Middlesburg has a closer to optimal level of public goods, or even that it provides them more efficiently than Corporateville, making up for their additional costs. The argument presented would be well served to provide some kind of quantitative measures which compare the two towns' governments, like school rankings or road quality.
At its core, the argument lacks any kind of comparison or quantification of costs to benefits. This is evident in the way it only lists the benefits of the move, its assumption that homeownership is preferable to renting and that its employees are purchasing those homes, and that lower taxes mean lower crime and a less expensive city. Each of these are claims that the benefit of a difference between Corporateville and Middlesburg outweighs the potential cost. Each side of that hypothesis might be quantifiable, and therefore falsifiable.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: There is no discussion of the costs of moving to either the corportation or its employees, whether the relationship between taxes and cheapness or safety is substantiated and whether homeownership is really the correct quality by which to judge a city's superiority.
Error: corportation Suggestion: corporation
Error: homeownership Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Like wieghing the benefits and costs of the move, the benefits and costs of homeownership and renting need to be weighed if increased homeownership is presented as a benefit.
Error: wieghing Suggestion: weighing
Error: homeownership Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: While homeownership may have tax advantages and act as a form of savings through buiulding equity, renting can be just as beneficial if the price is right.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: buiulding Suggestion: building
Error: homeownership Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Beyond that, the argument implies that the increase in homeownership in Corporateville is related to the move i.e. that Corporateville employees are buying homes.
Error: i.e. Suggestion: idea
Error: homeownership Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: This isn't a safe assumption either.
Error: isn Suggestion: ion
Sentence: The rise in homeownership could be due to other businesses moving in, changes int he macroeconomic climate or even just purchases by people who already lived in town.
Error: int Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: macroeconomic Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: homeownership Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Strengthening this portion of the argument would require some comparison of the costs of buying in Corporateville vs. renting in Middlesburg, and possibly a before and after the move survey of homeownership rates by SuperCorp employees.
Error: homeownership Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: vs. Suggestion: us
Sentence: The former is particularly strange, and it's easy to imagine the opposite effect bieng true: more taxes allow better police which lower crime.
Error: bieng Suggestion: bing
Sentence: The latter seems more tenable as taxes more directly lead to higher costs.
Error: tenable Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: By their very nature, public goods like roads, education or utilities will be underprovisioned without tax subsidies.
Error: underprovisioned Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: This is evident in the way it only lists the benefits of the move, its assumption that homeownership is preferable to renting and that its employees are purchasing those homes, and that lower taxes mean lower crime and a less expensive city.
Error: homeownership Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Each side of that hypothesis might be quantifiable, and therefore falsifiable.
Error: falsifiable Suggestion: No alternate word
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 699 350
No. of Characters: 3494 1500
No. of Different Words: 314 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.142 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.999 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.948 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 232 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 178 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 129 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 92 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.548 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.472 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.548 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.259 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.259 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 413, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...neficial if the price is right. Renters dont have to deal with repair costs and are ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 692, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...eville employees are buying homes. This isnt a safe assumption either. The rise in h...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, really, so, still, then, therefore, well, while, kind of, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 32.0 11.1786427146 286% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 96.0 55.5748502994 173% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3561.0 2260.96107784 157% => OK
No of words: 697.0 441.139720559 158% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10903873745 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.13816675137 4.56307096286 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9972167514 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 327.0 204.123752495 160% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469153515065 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 1101.6 705.55239521 156% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 19.7664670659 162% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.3495376386 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.28125 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.78125 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.03125 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117806712175 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0344907845993 0.0743258471296 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0449938965182 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0717975649915 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0361981579263 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 142.0 98.500998004 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.