SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's original headquarters. Moreover, Middlesburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, SuperCorp clearly made the best decision
The author of the passage presents an argument that supports the rationale behind SuperCorp moving its headquarters to CorporateVille from Middelburg. Although he or she has made some excellent points, they fail to provide any required backing or evidence. They have merely made an extensive list of unstated assumptions.
Firstly they believe that the recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that it is a superior place to live. However, the surge could have been due to a variety of reasons which are not even closely related to the lifestyle of Corporateville. There is a high possibility that Corporateville has cheaper housing plans. It could also be that they have lesser congestion or better roads but is near the industry area and so its residents are exposed to harmful chemicals. The term " superior place to live" hasn't been adequately defined. One cannot say whether it is superior in financial terms or emotional terms or any other reason.
Moving on the author has cited a survey of employees that has concluded that employees prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Firstly the survey does not have the required information as to whether the employees prefer rural or suburban or any other type of area. Further, there is no mention of what kind of area Corporateville is. It could be the case, that Corporarteville is also predominately urban. Thus, it is unlikely to be palatable to the workers. Therefore, without having adequate information on Corporateville’s location and neighborhood, this correlation is largely unwarranted.
Next, the author makes another claim that Corporateville has lesser taxes and is therefore cheaper and safer. Talking about the first point, there is no necessity that lesser taxes correspond to cheaper goods. It is entirely possible that the base price of the good itself is higher and despite lesser taxes, it ends up being more expensive. Further lesser taxes and a place being safer have no correlation. Logically there are many factors to be considered before declaring a place safe. Some of them include how the police force is, how the night lighting of the town is etc. Moreover, the word "safe" is very ambiguous. Is it talking about the safety of the women or of the children or of families as a whole? Is it talking about safety from animals or from criminals? Without answering these questions one cant access the safety of a town.
Lastly, the author says Supercorp made the best decision. What is implied by the word "best" in the given context? Is it best in terms of the financial implications the move will have on the company, or is it best with regard to its employees?
The author has made various points that are ambiguous at best. They have no evidence to back these points nor have the points been written sharply. In order to bolster the argument, the author must provide adequate data with regard to the multiple claims made in the passage which can help in assessing or even forecasting if the decision is indeed the best one after knowing all the factors at play.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 521 350
No. of Characters: 2494 1500
No. of Different Words: 249 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.778 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.787 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.367 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.67 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.247 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.472 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 539, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hasn't
...erm ' superior place to live' hasnt been adequately defined. One cannot say...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 191, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
... does not have the required information as to whether the employees prefer rural or suburban ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 821, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...? Without answering these questions one cant access the safety of a town. Lastly,...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, moreover, so, therefore, thus, as to, kind of, talking about, with regard to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2597.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 521.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98464491363 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89300407116 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 204.123752495 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.489443378119 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 836.1 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.6428249513 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.7741935484 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8064516129 23.324526521 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180500412411 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0459531873809 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0877209247693 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0887297322918 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0729577627078 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.