There is now evidence that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Mason City. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Mason City the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. And the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Mason City residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities."
The evidence shows that the relaxed place is conducive to have better health and longer life span. In order to this assumption, it is better to move to small city to have better live style. However, I find this allegation remains dubious, since it doesn't have solid reasons. The insufficient information causes this article to open doubt.
The author mentions that the residents in Leeville have fewer sickness days than the nearby large city Masonton. However, the author fails to take the raw data into account. Compared the two case, the residents in Leville get clod easily but all only have shorter day of silkiness, and the resident in Masonton have few residents who get longer days cold, the greater number of the sickness cases in Leville stands for worse circumstance to live. Moreover, the author doesn’t mention that the exact days of sickness. The data should be analyzed in objectively. If it just one less day compare the two city, this information is not so credible.
Second, the author says only one doctor to take care of one thousand residents, and the proportion of doctor to resident in Masonton is five times. The fewer number of the physician doesn't stand for health. The residents who get cold may have to go to Masonton, since there are more physicians than Leeville. Since the location of the Leville is close to Masonton, this speculation is reasonable. Moreover, more physicians in a city may have the better health care. The huge number of the doctors may construct a nice health care system, and it will attract more people who live near by Masonton to go.
Third, the author consider that the average of the age in Leeville in longer than Mason ton; hence, it is better to live in small city to seek longer and healthier lives. The author gives the insufficient information about what organization conducts the survey? Moreover, how the survey is conducted? May the discredit organization only take specific group in to account? If taking the other group in to the data may influence the outcome. Therefore, we might cast doubt on if the data is precise.
In a nut shell, only by providing valid information can make this article logically. The author should objective analyze the article rather than draws the conclusion hastily.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. You should not cast doubt on the data. Need to find out loopholes. 'Maybe people who are retired like to live in Leeville, for sure Leeville has higher average age.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1828 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.711 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.46 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.75 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5