There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The writer of the argument recommends that in order to having a more wholesome life, and as a resultant increasing the life expectancy, That would be much better for people to choose smaller towns for living; however, this conclusion cannot be accepted as it is in that it rests on a number of assumption all of which can be challenged in one or another way.
The first problem with the argument is that the writer assumes that the one of the most consequential factors that may threaten our health is the place where we live, although that is entirely important, there are some other major factors which are completely out of our control. For example, we are now familiar with some of the hazardous illnesses inherited genetically. The vivid thing is that it does not matter where you live, whether in a suburban area or a cramped district. Like some other precarious maladies that can be readily transferred such as viruses and parasites. This is obvious that occurrence of these happenings is not related to the living territory.
The second problem with this argument is that the writer assumes that there is always a higher chance of longevity in little places, due to the lack of dangerous problems , however, one of the most fundamental problems in rural areas and smaller cities is the deficiency which exist about the medical equipments. In addition to mentioned problem, lack of adept forces in such areas could bring about risky consequences for the dwellers. That’s the reason why many of the people occupying in those areas have to always commute to larger cities in order to be cured by more sophisticated facilities.
The other important problem is that the writer would have us believe that having a lower number of medical personnel is the hallmark of a healthy community which is not a wise attitude as, it is vivid that enormous population require more well-informed specialists like physicians, dentists, and others in order to meet the demand of it selves. Surely, the high number of doctors can lead to have a more prudence in the society about the possible ways of contracting to the illnesses, and the appropriate methods which are fruitful for keeping ourselves fit.
In brief, the conclusion made by the writer cannot be taken to be correct since, as it was illustrated in the body paragraphs, it depend on a number of assumptions each of which is vague. The conclusion can only be ratified if the weaknesses already referred to are all removed.
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2023-08-12 | okazaki11 | 73 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. need to argue:
Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton.
argument 2 -- not OK. need to argue:
Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents.
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 2012 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.768 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.614 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t the writer assumes that the one of the most consequential factors that may thre...
^^
Line 2, column 319, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
.... For example, we are now familiar with some of the hazardous illnesses inherited genetical...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 487, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uburban area or a cramped district. Like some other precarious maladies that can ...
^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s, due to the lack of dangerous problems , however, one of the most fundamental pr...
^^
Line 4, column 466, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y about the possible ways of contracting to the illnesses, and the appropriate me...
^^
Line 5, column 131, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'depends'?
Suggestion: depends
... illustrated in the body paragraphs, it depend on a number of assumptions each of whic...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, so, well, for example, in addition, in brief, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2060.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 422.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88151658768 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75346839962 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497630331754 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 659.7 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 98.0695321499 57.8364921388 170% => OK
Chars per sentence: 158.461538462 119.503703932 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.4615384615 23.324526521 139% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.61538461538 5.70786347227 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0405535197766 0.218282227539 19% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0131521266917 0.0743258471296 18% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0203810740838 0.0701772020484 29% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.024671274953 0.128457276422 19% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0267410504975 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.62 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.19 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 27.0 12.3882235529 218% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.