The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
" If you want to run fast, run alone, but if you want to run far, run together" - African Proverb.
Cooperation is an essential value to instill in young leaders, it teaches them to value, know and believe that teamwork is key to most significant efforts that impact a nation, industry or economy. However, a successful leader needs the drive to see through difficulty and challenges. In my opinion, that drive comes from 2 other key elements: healthy competition and a healthy value system.
I think there are two types of competition, healthy competition and unhealthy competition. The claim presented in this essay seems to only consider unhealthy competition, which tends to breed jealousy, bitterness, division and in extreme cases can lead to physical and emotional harm or abuse. However, healthy competition, where an individual competes with themselves or the predetermined goals of the team or company, can drive an individual and a team to manage a better work/life balance this week than last week, or to work more effectively on this month's project than they did on last month's project, or to acquire a higher profit margin this year than last year. The key difference between healthy and unhealthy competition is that healthy competition keeps an individual striving for the "best" but assures that the "best" is self-defined and regulated based on one's capabilities, skill sets, and values. Whereas unhealthy competition the goal is based on being better than someone else and doesn't consider one's own strengths and weaknesses. This then leads into the second key element; a healthy value system. The value system helps young leaders distinguish what type of goals are beneficial for themselves and for society, it is typically the fruit of a good nurturing environment. Through my college experience, I have met some people who are in school, simply because it was the "next step in life", a low-value reason to enroll in school. Some people were there because, "engineering or medicine paid well", true but not the best value reason to enroll in school. While others were there, inspired by the acts of a certain profession, and were taught or shown that they have the capacity to do a similar thing, and therefore, wanted to acquire the necessary skill set to make an impact on earth; that, in my opinion, is the highest value system.
In conclusion, to see young people become leaders in government, industry and other fields we can teach them cooperation, not competition. However, if we want to see young people become effective leaders, in addition to cooperation they should learn healthy competition and acquire a healthy value system. Then, will we see their leadership lead their communities, economies and nations into a brighter future.
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 66
- The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company."According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than i 26
- A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1020, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...d on being better than someone else and doesnt consider ones own strengths and weaknes...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, second, so, still, then, therefore, well, whereas, while, i think, in addition, in conclusion, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 29.0 14.8657303371 195% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2369.0 2235.4752809 106% => OK
No of words: 454.0 442.535393258 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21806167401 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00008130953 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 215.323595506 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519823788546 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 726.3 704.065955056 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 78.0987751832 60.3974514979 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.352941176 118.986275619 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7058823529 23.4991977007 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.41176470588 5.21951772744 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148024569174 0.243740707755 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0520574262929 0.0831039109588 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0678805121539 0.0758088955206 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0832764557321 0.150359130593 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0611735113743 0.0667264976115 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.1392134831 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 100.480337079 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.