The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
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Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
While instilling young people with cooperation can let them know how to work as a team and to lead in fields in society, we should also let them know the inportance and the benifits of competition. A promient leader needs both sense of cooperaion and competition.
Firstly, it is essential for young people to learn how to cooperate with each other. Since there are so many tests in school where students are competing with others, we need to let them know the benefits of cooperation not only by surpassing others in tests. For example, in Taiwan's universitys there are lots of group works which requires us to form a group and solve problems. When facing difficult problems we need to learn how to solve it as a team not by individuals. Therefore, this require us to listen other opinions and learn how to communicate with others effectively. As young generation enters society, these skills are essential to become a leader bescause leaders sometime need to lead thousands of workers. Without the cooeration skills such as communication and listening to others, its hard for them to become great leaders.
Secondly, some may argue that such a fast pace world we live in, if we only instill young people with cooperation only and not competion. Their efficiency will decrease due to the endless communitation that waste time and they will be outstripped by others who has a competitive mind. With competition, leaders will be in a pressurized environment and they will know how to arrange meetings effieiently, encourage others to work harder because if thet don't they will be surpassed by others. For example, in Taiwan there is a very popular mathematic online video game among high schools and universities called Pagama, which requires players to form in groups and solve math problems, they need to win as a group to acclaim their reward. There are also hundreds of groups online to compete with each others.
Therefore, if be want our young guns to become great leaders to become prominent leaders in the future, not only cooperation is important but a sense of competion is always a propeller for them to become susscessful.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... there are so many tests in school where students are competing with others, we n...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tion. Their efficiency will decrease due to the endless communitation that waste ...
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Line 9, column 317, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ive mind. With competition, leaders will be in a pressurized environment and the...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mind. With competition, leaders will be in a pressurized environment and they wi...
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Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...e others to work harder because if thet dont they will be surpassed by others. For ...
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Suggestion:
...ups online to compete with each others. Therefore, if be want our young guns to ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, while, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.5258426966 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 33.0505617978 79% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1791.0 2235.4752809 80% => OK
No of words: 361.0 442.535393258 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96121883657 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.55969084622 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78381085988 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 215.323595506 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.504155124654 0.4932671777 102% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 704.065955056 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.109354295 60.3974514979 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.4 118.986275619 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0666666667 23.4991977007 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.86666666667 5.21951772744 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162132422579 0.243740707755 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0597694163855 0.0831039109588 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0426355114112 0.0758088955206 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108702431042 0.150359130593 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0300339838703 0.0667264976115 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.1392134831 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.8420337079 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 100.480337079 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.