Society should give a sense of cooperation not competition to its youth
One of the main tasks of any society is to see to it that their youth are prepared for the demands of adult life. A society must ensure that it develops young people to be the leaders of government, industry and other fields. How to best accomplish this goal is often contested; whether instilling a sense of cooperation or competition is best. I contend that a healthy balance of cooperation and competition is needed in order to create leaders that will innovate, inspire, and improve society while ensuring everyone is taken care of.
Instilling a sense of competition in youth is important to aid in them in reaching their full potential however unchecked can create selfishness and lack of empathy. Healthy competition spurs people to continue striving to greater levels. Any teacher can tell you that a bright or talented student will often under perform when not challenged by their peers. Competition breeds innovation. Trying to out do someone else leads to new ideas and helps people challenge the status quo. Competition can also have a dark side it can lead to inflated egos and a narrow definition of success. Just instilling a sense of competion in young people can drive a me vs. others mentality. This can lead to a sense that only I can do this and the idea that others success diminishes ones own. Competition can also lead to defining success in narrow terms such as how much power or money one can a mass. People may start defining success in simple quantative terms and ignore measures such as happiness, well-being, or good being done in the world. While some sense of competition is important to push people to their best, most creative selves; this sense must be checked as to not spur greed and ego.
A sense of cooperation can ensure that people look out for one another, value others humanity and contributions but may not lead to the highest levels striving. Instilling a strong sense of cooperation is important to create kind, caring people. Teaching kids to work together will build important life skills in how to comprimise, see others points of view, and build products/society that inculude more people. A sense of cooperation will develop young people into leaders that ensure the world and buisnesses they build help everyone achive success and happiness. They will learn to look beyond their own experiences and value others which in turn can create more just societies. However, cooperation alone may not push people to maximize their own potential and create a sense of apathy.
A sense of competion paired with a high value of cooperation will push youth to each reach their own potential but value what others bring to the table. Together these values can push innovation and broad the scope of what society defines as success. Pairing these values will ensure that the leaders of tomorrow care about more than just themselves and the bottom line while also creating a society that takes care of and honors everyone.
- Colleges should only hire if the person has relevant work experience 66
- Nationalized curriculum until college 66
- Mozart school is the best place for kids to learn music 88
- more unmanned space flights should be used 59
- differences between men and women mean many task are better suited to different sexes 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 653, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'a' or 'me'?
Suggestion: a; me
... of competion in young people can drive a me vs. others mentality. This can lead to...
^^^^
Line 5, column 748, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
...at only I can do this and the idea that others success diminishes ones own. Competiti...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, so, still, well, while, as to, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.4196629213 193% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 14.8657303371 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 33.0505617978 109% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 58.6224719101 113% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 12.9106741573 170% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2471.0 2235.4752809 111% => OK
No of words: 503.0 442.535393258 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91252485089 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73578520332 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62438399584 2.79657885939 94% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 215.323595506 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461232604374 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 765.0 704.065955056 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.9635007885 60.3974514979 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.958333333 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9583333333 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.04166666667 5.21951772744 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 10.2758426966 204% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221656744136 0.243740707755 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0724839040509 0.0831039109588 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.051222185511 0.0758088955206 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157989439238 0.150359130593 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0487657887433 0.0667264976115 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.38706741573 91% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 100.480337079 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.