young people should be encouraged to pursue long term goals, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning

Essay topics:

young people should be encouraged to pursue long term goals, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Should we inspire our progeny to pursue long term goals? As far as I am concerned it is our responsibility to help and steer our offspring to choose goals which more suit to them. To understand necessity of such actions we may imagine a situation when adolescents and youngesters do not undergo impact of adults on them and their decisions.

First of all, some professions require from a person to pursue them for a long time in order to become a qualified specialist. For instance, to become a surgeon or a therapist a person needs to have a decent knowledge of chemistry and biology. The basic for college and university education is created during school education and without parents suggestion and stimulation it is unlikely that many children would spend their time on studying. Consequently, a number of doctors would be declined as well as other professionals.

One may say that talented children will learn without external influence on them. However, I strongly believe that all children need to be encouraged and supported. For instance, we may take a look at a musical school. A plethora of gifted and bright youngsters may enroll at the school but only a small per cent of them will become famous musicians. The reason is that even talented children should practice a lot in order to sharpen their skills and refine their talent. In fact, each person who has ever learn music knows that it is a drudgery and hard work. A role of adults in this action is to support and lead the child throught barriers.

Furthermore, the duty of growns-up is to create an attractive, desirable image for offspring to lead them to the goal. How should young people separate worthy and meangless goals? Do they have criteria for this action? Parents and other adults may create an image of a desirable future to which progeny strive. For example, why should a child want to become a doctor? This profession requires from him or her a lot of toil and sacrifice his or her free time to study and learn. To answer on this question the person should know about public attitude to this profession and about other benefits of being a medical worker.

Of course, some of us believe that we should not try to steer behavior of our children by in this case, the youth would be prone to pursue an immediate fame and recognition. In this case, we would have a generation of lazy person who try to attract attention to his or her action via all means from public humiliation to commitint a crime. For instance, in his interview a perpetrator who rape and killed a 10 years-old girl in Russia has said that he done it in order to be demonstrated in TV or news reports.

In conclusion, it is our duty and responsibility to help our offspring to make a decent and right choice therefore we need to encourage them implicitly by creating attractive images of decent profession and explicitly via motivating and controlling them.

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Comments

Sentence: To understand necessity of such actions we may imagine a situation when adolescents and youngesters do not undergo impact of adults on them and their decisions.
Error: youngesters Suggestion: youngsters

Sentence: A role of adults in this action is to support and lead the child throught barriers.
Error: throught Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Furthermore, the duty of growns-up is to create an attractive, desirable image for offspring to lead them to the goal.
Error: growns-up Suggestion: grownup

Sentence: How should young people separate worthy and meangless goals?
Error: meangless Suggestion: meanness

Sentence: In this case, we would have a generation of lazy person who try to attract attention to his or her action via all means from public humiliation to commitint a crime.
Error: commitint Suggestion: commitment

flaws:
The third and fourth paragraph are little bit off the topic.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 509 350
No. of Characters: 2353 1500
No. of Different Words: 253 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.75 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.623 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.677 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.36 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.461 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.259 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5