Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Young people should be encouraged to pursue long term goals and I totally stand by this. Young generation people should be properly oriented and they should be properly stream lined to take up goals which they are happy to pursue throughout their life with passion. They often seem to get carried away by the small recognition in the society for a trivial small achievement. These young people do not see a life after 20 years from then .
We as visionaries and an erudite should sometimes see a long term happiness in them and it is our responsibility to take them up in life to greater satisfactions. We must provide the pros and cons of a life with immediate fame. We must make them to think the by providing the information of how life in a society works and how one must work hard and keep a recognition throughout their career . By doing this we open the minds of an young child to varied perspectives of a career goals.
The example one can take into account is the telly programs which make a young kid perform on the stage and this gives him lot of transitory confidence. People start to recognize them and the young people start to feel they have reached their dream which they apprently wouldn't have accomplished. We see dance competitions and we see young talents coming out and perform well on stage. These kids would be remunerated with high pay and they would be well taken care by the organizers but once the program is over they are left with nothing than momentary happiness,fame and money. They would have lost a year or so by sacrificing their academic career. They neither will be successful academically nor with the dance.
We also can see many young people getting the fame every now and then but we do not see them to be at that level of life after couple of years later. We watch movies and we can see young people at the peak of their career and this goes on for a year or so unless they have a godfather to help them stand in that field for years to come.
In a long term young people would have either changed the stream from which they got recognition or they would have continued the same but lingering in a depression as they could not make it successful financially nor could love the work they do.
To conclude one must be highly encouraged to take up long term goals or they must be let to go on fame and recognition only if they love what they have done and like to keep up the recognition with the hard work they put on for coming decades.
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Sentence: People start to recognize them and the young people start to feel they have reached their dream which they apprently wouldn't have accomplished.
Error: apprently Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 459 while No. of Different Words: 200
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 459 350
No. of Characters: 1994 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.629 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.344 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.393 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.276 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.19 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5