The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kind of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
The chart below gives us information about the changes in the amount of fish, lamb, beef and chicken which consumed in a particular European country between 1979 and 2004.
It is clearly seen that the rates of fish consumption per person per week had remained stable with a fluctuation for the given period. In the beginning of the period the average amount of fish use was 53 grams per person in a week which was followed by a slight decrease with some fluctuations to 49 grams in 2004. Lamb consumption declined gradually from 150 grams to 60 grams.
According to the graph, consumption of chicken and beef showed different trends in the given 25-years period. In 1979, beef consumed in a European country was 220 grams compared to chicken was only 148 grams per person. Then, amount of chicken consumption went up considerably but beef firstly went down slightly which was followed by a dramatic increase and again showed a gradual decrease. In the end of the period both amounts reached 210 grams and 110 grams per person per week, respectively.
To sum it up, although in the beginning of the period the consumption of chicken was smaller than beef, it increased dramatically but other foods showed a decrease for the given period.
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flaws:
Still have grammatical issues. Read a good grammar book.
Don't forget punctuation marks. Some sentences are not clear because of punctuation marks.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 213 200
No. of Characters: 1004 1000
No. of Different Words: 104 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.82 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.714 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.612 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 70 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 51 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.483 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.222 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.483 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.688 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4