If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change?
Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
If I had a chance or I had power to change one thing in my city, I would change situation of internet. Unfortunately, we have many problems with speed of the internet in my country; actually, it is very low.
I have some reason for this idea. Firstly, in current the world, we can use internet for education. For example, we can use electronic learning system for continue our education. Nowadays, most of the course are presented in all universities around the world, are published on the internet by students, or teachers. Consequently, if we want to access these sources, we should have high speed of the internet.
Secondly, we need internet for our jobs. Every day, many progresses are happened in all area, and all information about these progresses is available on the internet. If we want to compete with other countries in industries or science, we will need this information for updating our information, improving our career.
Finally, we can save our time by doing our jobs over internet. We can do our job more easily and faster, if we have good access to internet. For example we can use internet to manage our account and pay off our bill or loan instead of go to bank. It was better if we could connect to internet everywhere, but now we have internet in especial place such as at home, at work, or may be at the airport. In addition, if we had a high speed of the internet, we could stay at home and do our job over the internet.
To sum up, today, internet has important role in our life. For achieve to all advantages of the internet, we need to have high speed of the internet.
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Sentence: For example, we can use electronic learning system for continue our education.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and continue Correct: for continuing
Sentence: For achieve to all advantages of the internet, we need to have high speed of the internet.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to For and achieve Correct: For achieving
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 290 350
No. of Characters: 1260 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.127 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.345 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.527 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 79 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.245 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.765 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.44 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.621 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.304 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5