the two maps below show an island before and after the construction of some tourist facilities
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SHWd-S6mp6s/UXiYRtH0FAI/AAAAAAAAAUc/JQhKpS2H-…
The two maps compare the improvement of the island before and after building tourist facilities.
Clearly, before the build of tourist requirements, the island was not residential with a lot of free spaces. After becoming one of tourist attractions, the island became well-equiped. Firstly, the most basic prerequisite of commuting was constructed in the forms of footpath and vehicle tracks. The former was built with the aim of making connection easier in accommodating areas and also to the beach. The latter mostly conducted travelers from the the reception station into the pler and furthermore, to the restaurant.
On another hand, various buildings were erected for travelers. There is a restaurant right behind the reception center in the north of the island and visitors can go there by vehicles. Moreover, accommodation facilities had been erected around or near the vegetation in the west and center of the island. Visitors also could enjoy the purity and beauty of the sea by walking towards the beach through footpath.
Overal, the island has switched form a virgin unreachable natural place to a well-eqiped one eith various tourist facilities and attractions including connective paths, accommodation facilities and entertainment facilities.
please tall me if i have understood the map correctly or not. or any suggestion for changing or improving my sentences...
tnx a lot
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Sentence: The latter mostly conducted travelers from the the reception station into the pler and furthermore, to the restaurant.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Sentence: The latter mostly conducted travelers from the the reception station into the pler and furthermore, to the restaurant.
Error: pler Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Didn't talk the east area. Sentences still can be polished.
Read a good sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/two-maps-below-show-island-and-afte…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 194 200
No. of Characters: 1040 1000
No. of Different Words: 116 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.732 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.361 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.964 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.157 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4