The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.
The two diagrams show the process of making chocolates and the percentage allocation of the price of a chocolate bar.
After harvesting coca in a forest, the chocolate production starts with manufacturing process for grinding of dried cocoa beans. Then, this will be heated and will be melt into chocolate liquor which is used in two ways. Also, the dried cocoa beans result some waste products. Constantly refining to produce chocolate bars, along with liquor to make industrial chocolate, the manufactures blend chocolate liquor with sugar and milk to add flavor. Finally, the chocolates will be ...
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Comments
I've changed some grammatical
I've changed some grammatical mechanics you have mentioned. Please kindly recheck the correction above. Thanks in advance, Mr. testbig.
Mr. testbig. I’ve added some
Mr. testbig. I’ve added some correction related to the points you've shown to me. I look forward to hearing from you, sir. Thanks.
Attribute Value
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 211 200
No. of Characters: 1038 1000
No. of Different Words: 122 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.811 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.919 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 72 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 54 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.134 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.024 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Many thanks, Mr. testbig.
Many thanks, Mr. testbig. I'll improve my writing, to be better. Thanks again.
Sentence: The chocolate-making process and the percentage allocation of the price a chocolate bar appear in the two diagrams.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
this will be heated and will melt into chocolate liquor
this will be heated and will be melt into chocolate liquor
and produce some waste products.
Description: what is the subject for produce?
the chocolates will be packed using wrapping and packaging machines, and then they are ready to transport.
Description: 'they' refers to what? chocolates or machines? it is not clear.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 203 200
No. of Characters: 1009 1000
No. of Different Words: 122 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.775 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.97 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.797 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 71 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 54 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.22 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.41 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.656 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4