The diagrams show changes to a medical centre from 2008 to 2010

Essay topics:

The diagrams show changes to a medical centre from 2008 to 2010.

The picture illustrates the transformation of a medical center over the period 2008 to 2010.

Overall, over this period, the medical centre had not changed too much except five new rooms were added for particular purposes.

Extra rooms were also built by 2010 on the other side of the corridor. Along the corridor, in 2008, there were five doctor’s offices, but in 2010, another office was built next to the others. Moreover, at the end of the corridor, the store room was built in 2010.

In addition, on the left of the waiting room, extra rooms for education, mother and child were presented in the form of a double room. However, the treatment room, waiting room and main entrance remained unchanged, except the new entrance was opened in the laboratory, leading to the new pharmacy behind this room.

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Comments

flaws:
No. of Words: 138 200
Minimum 150 words wanted

the medical centre had not changed too much except five new rooms were added for particular purposes.
except is used wrongly here, should be like this:
except + non.
except + that + sentence.

we may change it to:
the medical centre had not changed too much except five new rooms which (or that) were added for particular purposes. or:
the medical centre had not changed too much except that five new rooms were added for particular purposes. or:
the medical centre had not changed too much except five new rooms where they were added for particular purposes.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 138 200
No. of Characters: 641 1000
No. of Different Words: 78 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.427 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.645 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.29 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 42 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 30 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 19 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 8 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.175 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.476 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.811 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.176 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4