You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired.Write a letter to the company. In your letter,*  introduce yourself*  e

Essay topics:

You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired.

Write a letter to the company. In your letter,

*  introduce yourself

*  explain the situation

*  say what action you would like the company to take

Dear website,

my name is john employed in a multinational organisation as a Software engineer. Recently purchased a new mobile phone from a website of your company on the internet. However, the purpose of this letter is to enlighten faults in the phone.

Firstly, the phones 12-megapixel camera prints blurred pictures. In addition to this phone restarts when using camera application without alerting sign even though the phone's battery is full. Occasionally, the phone hangs for a few minutes after the attempt made to open any installed app. Secondly, the icon for Bluetooth appears at the top bar, unfortunately never appears in the list of Bluetooth devices on another device. Most Importantly, the phone becomes slower when using the internet or connected to the internet also uses more battery when not connected to the internet.

Furthermore, please refund full payment or replace the handset with the new one.

Yours Faithfully,

John Moses

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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Essays by user astrlw@hotmail.com :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 169, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'phones'' or 'phone's'?
Suggestion: phones'; phone's
...n without alerting sign even though the phones battery is full. Occasionally, the phon...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, however, second, secondly, so, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.48453608247 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 4.92783505155 0% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 5.05154639175 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.03092783505 99% => OK
Pronoun: 5.0 32.9175257732 15% => OK
Preposition: 18.0 26.3917525773 68% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 3.85567010309 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 809.0 937.175257732 86% => OK
No of words: 152.0 206.0 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32236842105 4.54256449028 117% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.51124308557 3.78020617076 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84280571291 2.54303337028 112% => OK
Unique words: 102.0 127.690721649 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.671052631579 0.622605031667 108% => OK
syllable_count: 256.5 290.88556701 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.41237113402 120% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.13402061856 22% => OK
Article: 5.0 0.824742268041 606% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 1.83505154639 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 1.44329896907 69% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 15.0 16.3608247423 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.8683237337 44.8134815571 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.9 76.5299724578 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.2 16.8248392259 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.7 4.34317383033 177% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.29896907216 70% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 7.41237113402 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.49484536082 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.94845360825 101% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.115617498021 0.216113520407 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0492472334216 0.0766984524023 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0486436500552 0.0603063233224 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0787622706159 0.12726935374 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0559908697014 0.0580467560999 96% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 8.37731958763 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 70.7449484536 68% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 7.45979381443 138% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.98 8.71597938144 149% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.47 7.59969072165 125% => OK
difficult_words: 49.0 41.2886597938 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 8.62886597938 81% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 8.54432989691 94% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 8.15463917526 135% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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More content wanted.
Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.