Research indicates that characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Essay topics:

Research indicates that characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.
Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Certain studies explain the prominence of characteristics, stemming since we were born, will influence our behavior, instead of having involvement during our lifetime. There are several reasonable matters that influencing human character building according to that factors, will be explained in the following paragraph.

Prior to the human’s ability to do some activities, we have natural response to react certain occurrences and it has been shaping since the day we were born to make kind of attractiveness from our origin. This character will impact to the way of adolescents interact with others and create their personality. The pursuit of identity occurs during children and teenage phases, while the former character may impact those kids conceivably.

On the other hand, as we grow up and gain much influencing experiences that matter, we gradually change our mind set and problem solving. For instances, the man who was a good-humored person become melancholic one since his parents passed away. Moreover, the students who used to learn by teacher’s taught at school will learn by doing experiment and self-research in the college system, and this stage will shaping their way of study and seek the knowledge. Hence, this circumstance portrays that some kind of situations are able to make character of certain people and they will learn many lessons from their experience.

Thereby, with taking all possibilities, I conclude that experiences will create adults personality and make enormous effects, after many vicissitudes happened to them, they will overcome another moment carefully, especially for the mature ones.

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Comments

There are several reasonable matters that influencing human character building according to that factors, will be explained in the following paragraph.
Description: what is the subject for 'will be'? can you re-write this sentence?

become melancholic one
become a melancholic one

and this stage will shaping their way
and this stage will shape their way

Sentence: Thereby, with taking all possibilities, I conclude that experiences will create adults personality and make enormous effects, after many vicissitudes happened to them, they will overcome another moment carefully, especially for the mature ones.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to adults and personality

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

No. of Words: 252 350

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 252 350
No. of Characters: 1347 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.984 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.345 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.839 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.25 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.358 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5