In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
It is often seen in some countries that young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Such trend has both merits and demerits which shall now be discussed in following paragraphs.
One of the main advantages of such trend is that students become independent on their own which is very vital for their future ahead. As we know, in order to success in the professional life ahead anyone should think and act independently and such trend obviously provide students a great opportunity to achieve so. Furthermore, they also learn the new culture and society and in this global era, it is really important to get some information about them. Besides it, they also learn how to interact with new people. Another advantage is that if they work in some places, they can even earn some money and they can spend that money in some useful works too.
On the other hand, there are also some downsides of this trend. Firstly, staying one year away from a family might result in mental health problems. It could be possible that they can't cope up with new surroundings and can't stay cordially with their colleague for so long time. Furthermore, some parents couldn't support financially and might end up to great financial burden for them if they send their children to such activities.
In conclusion, allowing young people to work or travel for a year between high school and starting university education has both positive and negative sides; however, on balance, it seems that advantages outweigh disadvantages and for the sake of its benefits it is advantageous to bear some of its drawbacks.
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Comments
it is really important to get
it is really important to get some information about them.
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
Here, them refers to new culture and society.
and might end up to great financial burden for them if they send their children to such activities.
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
Here, them refers to parents.
Is it inaccurate to refer pronouns in such a way?
Look at: 'they also learn the
Look at:
'they also learn the new culture and society and in this global era, it is really important to get some information about them.'
there are two sentences, you need conjunctions like 'and' between them:
Sentence A, and sentence B.
better to use 'which' to refer clearly.
suggested:
they also learn the new culture and society which are important in this global era.
some parents couldn't support financially and might end up to great financial burden for them if they send their children to such activities.
suggested:
some parents couldn't support financially and might end up to a great financial burden if they send their children to such activities.
As we know, in order to success
As we know, in order to succeed
and such trend obviously provide students
and such trend obviously provides students
it is really important to get some information about them.
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
Besides it,
Beside it,
and might end up to great financial burden for them if they send their children to such activities.
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1353 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.798 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.095 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5