Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school program (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children).To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school program (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree

The society living in the modern lifestyle usually prefer to be independent livelihood, ignoring the social condition in their environment. In order to facing egoistical atmosphere in certain region, it is important to make an alteration which encourage social caring that can improve relationship with each other. According to that phenomenon, there are many community services which provide aids for certain groups needing help, without admission which known as compulsory activities both in neighborhood or school life. I stand along to the regulation including those kind of actions in the school program.

The most influencing phase of building character is teenage period while they attend high school. The children suffering their mediocre life of high school, learn academic and science majors commonly. In other hand, the children not only need general school subject field, but also their social living. There are many ways to improve their social skill and human interaction in order to assessed living life in the outside, such as student gathering for charity, living in a remote place to conditioning their ability with the local people similarly, become a volunteer to collect funds for victim of disaster, and nurturing other people based on their skill such as sports or creative projects to the younger ones or special groups. High school students should be thought about social interaction for the purpose that making real project which consist of social value instead of learning theories, therefore they can share their knowledge to other people needed practically.

There are many advantages both students and the people will achieve, especially when they are trying to involve other people to work on better things for their life. The students can interact and revealed further about social value. Besides, people who get benefits from the high school students such as materials, education, even fundraising which they had collected from their charity event. Including those kinds of positive activities to the school program will make better experiences for the children in the future. Furthermore, they can apply their valuable lessons to other people so it will make kind of charitable surrounding.

Based on the list of benefits, it concludes that unpaid community service become compulsory that matters for high school program. The regulator of education should provide the list of activities which can improve social interaction value between the students and other people.

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2016-01-14 shagaranst 60 view
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prefer to be independent livelihood,
prefer to be an independent livelihood,

In order to facing egoistical atmosphere
In order to face egoistical atmosphere

Sentence: According to that phenomenon, there are many community services which provide aids for certain groups needing help, without admission which known as compulsory activities both in neighborhood or school life.
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to which and known

The children suffering their mediocre life
The children are suffering their mediocre life

the children not only need general school subject field, but also their social living.
the children need not only general school subject field, but also their social living.

Sentence: There are many ways to improve their social skill and human interaction in order to assessed living life in the outside,
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and assessed

There are many advantages both students and the people will achieve,
There are many advantages both students and the people who will achieve,

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2 //You have issues on sentence structures.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 2077 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.339 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.527 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.882 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5