Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
These days many people believe that public health would improve by creating more sports facilities whereas other people say that this would have a negligible effect on public health. In this essay I will explain both points of view and give my personal opinion.
Increasing the number of sports facilities would promote physical activity in people from all ages, not only by building gyms which some people can’t afford but creating green areas or sports fields in schools where apart from students, everybody could practice sport once the school is closed. What is more, master classes of all kind of sports should be offered, from fitness to swimming or football where people could choose the one that fits them. Not only that, but a large amount used to cure heart disease would be saved if we promote healthy habits among the population by practicing sport.
However, other people believe that sports facilities are not the key to the problem of public health. People who want to practice sport manage to do it independently of having a gym in the neighborhood or exercise equipment in parks. Physical activity should be promoted in schools, not only in PE classes but also in maths or biology, where teachers could encourage pupils to practice sport by making some experiments or calculating caloric waste after doing exercise just like my school did started doing some years ago getting great results. Another measure could be imposing high tax penalties on high-fat food products like alcohol or pastry products and decreasing the price of fruits and vegetables.
Personally, I think that healthy habits should be promoted encouraging people from all ages to practice sport, eating a balanced diet and have a healthy lifestyle in general.
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not only by building gyms which some people can’t afford but creating green areas or sports fields
not only by building gyms which some people can’t afford, but also by creating green areas or sports fields
flaws:
Sentences should be shorter and clear.
Don't use 'not only...but also...' a lot of times in one essay. One time is enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1436 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.986 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.399 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.806 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.394 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.631 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5