Some people think that a sense of competition should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Opinions are divided whether we motivate the children to be competitive or inspire them to be cooperative for them to use these behaviors when they grow up. In this essay, I will discuss both topics and provide my opinion at the end.
On one side, juveniles at this day and age are more aware on being competitive in school and sports. Some people pushes these children to be more aggressive to achieve their goals. Party, this will persuade the young ones to do better as they will think of strategies to overcome the consequences. When these children reach their adulthood, they should be ready to face on what is in store in the future. When the child become an adult and looking for a job, there will be plenty of applicants for a limited opened position. In this case, these adults need to justify that they are worthy and ready to face the challenges. However, there are some scenarios that these adults need to sacrifice the friendship between their colleagues. Being a competitive person somehow lacks the sensitivity towards others as the main focus is to achieve the goal.
On the other hand, some people tend to practice being on cooperative side. Parents and teachers prefer to inspire the children to become part of the team. As the old saying goes "No man is an island" means people need assistance from others. For being cooperative is like sharing the loads ans as a team you will be able to attain the purpose. Which can be very useful when doing group thesis or working in a multi-national company. As a team player will go a long way because you build relationship towards others. This will show how pleasurable working with and possible to get more opportunities in the future.
In my opinion, we should guide the children to be cooperative and to be competitive. Both are essential when growing up. These traits can be use in school, sports, work or just simply living the life.
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Sentence: Some people pushes these children to be more aggressive to achieve their goals.
Description: The fragment people pushes these is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace pushes with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: When the child become an adult and looking for a job, there will be plenty of applicants for a limited opened position.
Description: The fragment child become an is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace become with verb, past tense
As a team player will go a long way
a team player will go a long way
As a team player, it will go a long way
Sentence: This will show how pleasurable working with and possible to get more opportunities in the future.
Description: The tag a preposition is not usually followed by and
Suggestion: Refer to with and and
This will show how pleasurable working with and possible to get more opportunities in the future.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
These traits can be use in school, sports, work or just simply living the life.
These traits can be used in school, sports, work or just simply the life we are living.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1530 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.581 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.518 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.148 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.15 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.271 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.446 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5