Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it it better to work for different organisatons.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, there is a great deal of opportunities for employees to make a decision and gain their job experience. Some people tent to dedicated their life to only a company, while others believed that transfering another workplace can bring satisfying career. In this essay, I would like to account for both sides with my own perception.
Firstly, one of the main reasons of working for only company for people, they often find it easily understand to complete all tasks. That is to say, employees would not be facing any difficulties to communicate with their boss and costumers. This is because, they may become job experts. For example, my older sister who has been working as a nurse for about decade at hospital, always said, could she getting along much better with sickers as well as boss, one day she might be promoted a higher position. As a result, individuals often think that a better relation around workplace, would be gain to reach to the top of their career.
On the other hand, it is an undeniable fact that there is a major advantage of moving to different organisations. Obviously, people who prefer to change their jobs, likely to improve his/her environmental skills and knowledge. A good example would be here, A friend of mine who works as a sales assistant with less salary in the biggest supermarket, alter his work in a small shop a year ago, and he was offered as manager with high salary in our local area. Therefor, people who often would like to work for other companies, think that they might be appointed to a higher position as quickly as possible.
To sum up, from my view points that although working environment is important for people to improve their skills or get promotion and achieve the top of their career, they should have the right to choose the above views.
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Sentence: Some people tent to dedicated their life to only a company, while others believed that transfering another workplace can bring satisfying career.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and dedicated
A friend of my who works as a sales assistant
A friend of mine who works as a sales assistant
there is a major advantages
there is a major advantage
it might be appointed them to a higher position as quickly as possible.
they might be appointed to a higher position as quickly as possible.
Sentence: Some people tent to dedicated their life to only a company, while others believed that transfering another workplace can bring satisfying career.
Error: transfering Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: As a reasult, individuals often think that a better relation around workplace, would be gain to reach to the top of their career.
Error: reasult Suggestion: result
Sentence: Obviously, people who prefer to change their jobs, likely to improve his/her envirmental skills and knowledge.
Error: envirmental Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To sum up, from my view points that although working envirement is important for people to improve their skills or get promation and achive the top of their career, they should have the right to choose the above views.
Error: envirement Suggestion: environment
Error: promation Suggestion: promotion
Error: achive Suggestion: active
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 316 350
No. of Characters: 1447 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.216 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.579 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.489 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.308 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.513 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.539 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5