Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think it is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
There are plenty of people who are currently interested in sports. They will individually involve to play it or even just to follow news about certain sport that they like. The news about sports or players who play it becomes an interesting thing for people and the players’ news sometimes are more interesting than the sport itself. People are going to search for the information about his private life; his wife, his children and his salary by which they will find that the successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. It is fully justified because to be successful sports professionals, they sacrifice a lot of things; money, times and much energy.
When we look at sports professional who are now live prestigiously, remarkably, we also need to see why the sports professional can live in such ways. There are certainly many sacrifices that have been made to reach the goal. To be successful sports professional, they need to spend much time exercising, focusing their life on it and living disciplinely so the goal can be made and there will be possibility that the sports players will be injured during exercises.
As well as for the food consuming, they have to keep maintaining their body healthy by consuming just health food and not junk food. So, living disciplinely is one key to reach the successful sports players and other ways that common people do not know. Moreover, there is limited age for sports player to play certain sport, and the age for sport players to retire is earlier than other professions.
Looking at how sport players can reach their goal to be successful sports professionals, it is fully justified that they can earn more money than other important professions.
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Sentence: The news about sports or players who play it becomes an interesting thing for people and the players' news sometimes are more interesting than the sport itself.
Description: 'it' refers what?
Sentence: When we look at sports professional who are now live prestigiously, remarkably, we also need to see why the sports professional can live in such ways.
Description: The fragment sports professional can is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace professional with adverb
Sentence: To be successful sports professional, they need to spend much time exercising, focusing their life on it and living disciplinely so the goal can be made and there will be possibility that the sports players will be injured during exercises.
Description: 'it' refers what?
Sentence: When we look at sports professional who are now live prestigiously, remarkably, we also need to see why the sports professional can live in such ways.
Error: prestigiously Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To be successful sports professional, they need to spend much time exercising, focusing their life on it and living disciplinely so the goal can be made and there will be possibility that the sports players will be injured during exercises.
Error: disciplinely Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: So, living disciplinely is one key to reach the successful sports players and other ways that common people do not know.
Error: disciplinely Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 141 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 297 350
No. of Characters: 1435 1500
No. of Different Words: 141 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.151 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.832 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.669 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.833 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5