It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledg

Essay topics:

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.
It is said that taking risks brings a lot of benefits. However, it also gives us some drawbacks.
First of all, it is obvious that taking risks will cause a great loss if people do it and fail. In personal
life, this loss might not be so harmful. However, it will be really harmfull in professional life,
because people take a responsibility not only for themselves but also others such as colleages,
customers and their families. It will even damage the society from the economic point.
On the other hand, we can receive huge benefits by taking risks. Firstly, we can learn how to prepare for one goal through this process. In order to achieve the aim, people will make all the efforts to think about it and try to find more efficient way. If they do this in the professional circumstances, they will recognise the responsibility and importance of cooperation.
Also, it will be completely meaningful even though people can't achieve the goal after taking risks. They will learn the reason why they have failed and how to change it. The failure will enable them to improve their skills and to achieve their object next time.
As I mentioned, it is true that taking risks give us both advantages and disadvantages. However, it can be argued that the benefits outweighed the drawbacks in that we can obtain advantages not only from the result but also from the process of taking risks.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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Essays by user Ngoc21 :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 8, column 59, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ompletely meaningful even though people cant achieve the goal after taking risks. Th...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, really, so, such as, first of all, it is true, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 24.0651302605 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 25.0 41.998997996 60% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1215.0 1615.20841683 75% => OK
No of words: 256.0 315.596192385 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.74609375 5.12529762239 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0 4.20363070211 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62804127672 2.80592935109 94% => OK
Unique words: 141.0 176.041082164 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.55078125 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 370.8 506.74238477 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 5.43587174349 258% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.5031644302 49.4020404114 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.9375 106.682146367 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 20.7667163134 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 7.06120827912 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 9.0 4.38176352705 205% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24372343337 0.244688304435 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0793807934652 0.084324248473 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0571940249563 0.0667982634062 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104520415452 0.151304729494 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0571643821805 0.056905535591 100% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 13.0946893788 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 50.2224549098 144% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 11.3001002004 64% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.97 12.4159519038 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.21 8.58950901804 84% => OK
difficult_words: 45.0 78.4519038076 57% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 9.78957915832 66% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.7795591182 65% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.