Nowadays many young people admire stars though they often do not set a good example Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Essay topics:

Nowadays, many young people admire stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

In this day and age, entertainment as industry so many people become stars but they often do not good things and it is a negative development for their fans.
First of all, it is worth considering their fans who do not come of age and conscious of passive issues from stars. So it leads to bad deed like offence, killing oneself, wrong thinking… . For example, Tekashi 6ix9ine is rapper in US sentenced to two years in prison and The offences 6ix9ine was charged with include racketeering, carrying a firearm, assault with a dangerous weapon, and conspiracy murder charges and now he is freedom. But he may be gone back on his gang associates and it was weed he smoked on his Instagram livestream whichwas banned in states of US and many countries. Then comes young people imitate him and advocate his lifestyle.

On top of that, it is social network applications which were created by founders who do not have effective censorship systems to stop passive contents to users and then they have started learning from the stars they admired. For example, there is a channel called “ NTN “ he challenged everybody to can do like him and so dangerously were the challenges that children joined and unfortunately they were injured in the challenge. That is an undeniable proof shows that those contents are harmful for children but censorship systems can not stop so it is a negative evolution.

To conclusion, it is the passive evolution that stars bring about bad effects for their fans, especially that is teenagers and should corporations try harder, the effective censorship systems will be effective.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 187, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...fence, killing oneself, wrong thinking… . For example, Tekashi 6ix9ine is rapper ...
^
Line 4, column 265, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '”' seems to be missing
... For example, there is a channel called “ NTN “ he challenged everybody to can do...
^
Line 4, column 271, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '”' seems to be missing
...xample, there is a channel called “ NTN “ he challenged everybody to can do like ...
^
Line 4, column 458, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'show'?
Suggestion: show
... challenge. That is an undeniable proof shows that those contents are harmful for chi...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, so, then, for example, first of all, on top of that

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 10.4138276553 154% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 27.0 41.998997996 64% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1343.0 1615.20841683 83% => OK
No of words: 272.0 315.596192385 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9375 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.06108636974 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79046359256 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 176.041082164 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.591911764706 0.561755894193 105% => OK
syllable_count: 411.3 506.74238477 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 16.0721442886 62% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.2975951904 133% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 59.5805337338 49.4020404114 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.3 106.682146367 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2 20.7667163134 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.2 7.06120827912 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.67935871743 35% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.196112484509 0.244688304435 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0783204701617 0.084324248473 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0997668212652 0.0667982634062 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141128317259 0.151304729494 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.132055267643 0.056905535591 232% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 13.0946893788 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 50.2224549098 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.4159519038 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.21 8.58950901804 107% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 78.4519038076 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.1190380762 126% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.