Nowadays people depend on technology for leisure activities Is this a positive or negative development

Essay topics:

Nowadays people depend on technology for leisure activities. Is this a positive or negative development?

These days, technology devices become more and more popular with people all over the world. People spend time on using technology devices too much, even in their leisure activities. From my viewpoint, this statement is negative because of the fact that it is harmful for our health and keeps us separated from community.
One obvious reason is that using technology devices continuously in long term is harmful for our health. This means, this can especially affect to our eyes. For example, when using mobile phone too long, the green light from mobile phone does harm to our eyes. Because of that we can cause some problems with eyesight. Moreover, using technology devices too much can prevent us from exposuring to the sunlight. So that our body can not get enough vitamins to strengthen our health.
Another negative reason is that, separating from the community. This can be explained by shortening our relationship in both friends and families. For instance, during the gathering day in our families, we spend most of time using our mobile phones or watching TV. This can leads to the lacks of understanding in each members in our famlies, so we can sometimes feel alone due to the shortage of connection. Furthermore, we use technology devices even in our leisure time, so we do not go out to meet our friends face to face, it keeps us separated from each other.
In conclusion, this negative statement should be solved to make our daily life better. Human being depend on technology leisure activities brings many drawbacks due to all above reasons.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 230, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
...y viewpoint, this statement is negative because of the fact that it is harmful for our health and keeps ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 262, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rom mobile phone does harm to our eyes. Because of that we can cause some problems with...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 412, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ent us from exposuring to the sunlight. So that our body can not get enough vitamins to...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 275, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
... mobile phones or watching TV. This can leads to the lacks of understanding in each m...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, if, moreover, so, then, for example, for instance, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 24.0651302605 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1299.0 1615.20841683 80% => OK
No of words: 263.0 315.596192385 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9391634981 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02706775958 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62204727708 2.80592935109 93% => OK
Unique words: 143.0 176.041082164 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.543726235741 0.561755894193 97% => OK
syllable_count: 404.1 506.74238477 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 5.43587174349 184% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.4416796396 49.4020404114 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 81.1875 106.682146367 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4375 20.7667163134 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.8125 7.06120827912 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.196459459113 0.244688304435 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0737112009845 0.084324248473 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0524625862777 0.0667982634062 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151232594193 0.151304729494 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0633236887586 0.056905535591 111% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 13.0946893788 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 50.2224549098 127% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.3001002004 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.4159519038 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.58950901804 89% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 78.4519038076 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.