Personal statment

Essay topics:

Personal statment

I have always been interested in mental health and this subject is very close to my heart. Since childhood I was surrounded by people, who were struggling with their mental health and required support. It includes my mother, who battled alcoholism and depression, my childhood best friend, who tried to commit suicide on multiple occasions and my ex-partner, who suffered with severe anxiety. I had a lot of emphaty for them and tried to help them. Unfortunately, in post communist Poland, mental health services where pretty much non existent, so I was forced to self-educate in the subject and it became my interest.
I would like to become a Mental Health Nurse as I want to help people, simple as that. We are facing mental health crisis, deepened by Covid-19 pandemic and yet mental health is still surrounded by stigma. I strongly believe we need more people training in the role of Mental Health Nurse and I want to be one of them.
I am trained Occupational Therapist, received my title after completing vocational study. One of the settings I trained at was Psychiatric Hospital in Stronie Slaskie in Poland, Acute Inpatient Ward. I had a chance to work with men in crisis, who often were dangerous to self or others. I took part in doctor's rounds, assisted with medications, had to help restraint person. My main duty was to organize meaningful free time, usually in the form of art, play and music therapy, eaither as a group or individual session. I also took part in sessions aimed at developing coping mechanisms and skills. As a result I would spend many hours daily interacting with people with acute mental illness, mostly schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I really enjoyed it and wanted to become a permanent member of the team. Unfortunately, at this time, Psychiatric Hospitals in Poland faced big financial cuts and additional services, like occupational therapy, became pretty much non existent.
During my vocational training as an Occupational Therapis I worked with people from different backgrounds and of different ages. I worked with children with learning disabilities, adults with chronic illness, people hospitalised. It gave me a chance to learn to be flexible in my approach and adaptable. What helped me perform well was my emphaty and genuine interest in another person. I found that people were more open towards me what made it easier to plan the therapy.
I also studied Resocialization Pedagogy. I especially enjoyed Psychology and Psychiatry modules as well as Child Development. I was lucky to get a placement in Young Offenders Institution in Swidnica, Poland. It was very challenging yet rewarding experience. I had a chance to observe therapy sessions as many of the offenders suffered with mental health or adaptation issues. I was trained in observation technics, methods of resocialization, record keeping.
I am originally from Poland, my husband is Gambian. I believe it makes me more diverse candidate as I have better insight into barriers in accessing mental health services for people of different backgrounds and religions.
I am hardworking and reliable person. I enjoy new challenges and thinking on my feet. My main strengths are organization skills and perceptiveness. I have positive mental attitude. I enjoy helping people, getting to know them, I am a good listener. I am applying as a mature student, mother of two children, which makes me really motivated to succeed. I strongly believe this attributes make me a very good candidate for role of a Mental Health Nurse and it would be a great achievement to be able to study for the degree at Keele University.

Votes
Average: 1.1 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 42, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... also studied Resocialization Pedagogy. I especially enjoyed Psychology and Psych...
^
Line 5, column 127, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...y modules as well as Child Development. I was lucky to get a placement in Young O...
^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s of resocialization, record keeping. I am originally from Poland, my husband i...
^
Line 6, column 53, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...lly from Poland, my husband is Gambian. I believe it makes me more diverse candid...
^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...f different backgrounds and religions. I am hardworking and reliable person. I e...
^
Line 7, column 38, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... I am hardworking and reliable person. I enjoy new challenges and thinking on my...
^
Line 7, column 249, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ing to know them, I am a good listener. I am applying as a mature student, mother...
^
Line 7, column 352, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...h makes me really motivated to succeed. I strongly believe this attributes make m...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, really, so, still, well, as for, as to, as a result, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 13.1623246493 160% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 10.4138276553 259% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 72.0 24.0651302605 299% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 78.0 41.998997996 186% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3030.0 1615.20841683 188% => OK
No of words: 600.0 315.596192385 190% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94923200384 4.20363070211 118% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00706390576 2.80592935109 107% => OK
Unique words: 298.0 176.041082164 169% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496666666667 0.561755894193 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 960.3 506.74238477 190% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 33.0 5.43587174349 607% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 37.0 16.0721442886 230% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.6479032503 49.4020404114 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.8918918919 106.682146367 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.2162162162 20.7667163134 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.10810810811 7.06120827912 30% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.38176352705 160% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.01903807615 159% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 22.0 8.67935871743 253% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 3.4128256513 234% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0327061374012 0.244688304435 13% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0126797419556 0.084324248473 15% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0445883206576 0.0667982634062 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0167765712293 0.151304729494 11% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0196534417517 0.056905535591 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 13.0946893788 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 50.2224549098 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.3001002004 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.71 12.4159519038 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 159.0 78.4519038076 203% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.