Q2 Some people believe famous people s support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems Others think celebrities make the problems less important Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay topics:

Q2: Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems. Others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Recently, the impact of celebrities' assistance, such as donations, on ordinary people has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that renowned people can contribute to an increase in the level of attention to social problems by supporting charities, while others argue otherwise. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with the former stance. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.

On the one hand, those who claim that influencers helping socially disadvantaged people harmfully affect individuals do so for several reasons. Proponents of this argument insist that some entertainers exploit charitable activities in an undesirable way, causing everyday people to become less interested in social issues. As an illustration, Kim Ki-Hun who is a singer in South Korea patronised a charitable foundation and achieved fame. However, according to an article released by the Seoul Times, it turned out that the main reason for his donation was receiving tax waivers. Given these points, some people hold the view that well-known people can worsen the essence of support.

My opinion, however, is that public figures' help towards to charitable institutions exerts a beneficial influence on the masses. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that not only can famous people inform individual people of the importance of charitable work, but they are also able to raise awareness amongst the public. considering that they are often exposed to media. In addition, numerous fans of celebrities have a predisposition to participate in aid when their idols partake in it. To exemplify, Lionel Messi who spent approximately 3 million US dollars on a charitable organisation so as to alleviate global hunger in South Africa in 2015, which made it possible for a myriad of his keen supporters across the globe to pay attention to poverty. As a result, they donated 5 million US dollars. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that celebrities' help brings with it positives in society for the reasons discussed above.

Votes
Average: 8.9 (1 vote)
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Essays by user idid382003 :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 233, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an undesirable way" with adverb for "undesirable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ertainers exploit charitable activities in an undesirable way, causing everyday people to become less...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 325, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Considering
... to raise awareness amongst the public. considering that they are often exposed to media. I...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 594, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...US dollars on a charitable organisation so as to alleviate global hunger in South Africa...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 858, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that celebrit...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, so, well, while, as to, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 10.4138276553 19% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 7.30460921844 205% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 41.998997996 131% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1914.0 1615.20841683 118% => OK
No of words: 361.0 315.596192385 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.30193905817 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98658125455 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 176.041082164 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.623268698061 0.561755894193 111% => OK
syllable_count: 617.4 506.74238477 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.76152304609 210% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.8163047554 49.4020404114 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.333333333 106.682146367 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0555555556 20.7667163134 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.33333333333 7.06120827912 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258588581955 0.244688304435 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0647096266584 0.084324248473 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0687810086967 0.0667982634062 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.148471855482 0.151304729494 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0653454668769 0.056905535591 115% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 13.0946893788 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 50.2224549098 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 12.4159519038 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.79 8.58950901804 114% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 78.4519038076 150% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.