Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore others subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, people are gradually raising their awareness of education. it is believed that academic subjects are more important in teaching children at schools that necessary for their career than others subjects including music and sports. I strongly disagree with the aforementioned statement because of two main reasons.
First and foremost, music and activity courses are not common which require talents. while academy courses are compulsory for all students to improve all-rounded skills, music and activity courses are more corresponded to students who are not ordinary. they play a role of cultivating in talent that can be useful for the students in their future who dreamed of becoming musicians or sport players. Moreover, when practise sports and music, children not only enhance their individual abilities but also teamwork skills. they have chances to work with team that generates communication and connection between individual and others team members. Therefore, these subjects are also beneficial to future career.
Secondly, besides hard hours of studying academic subjects which requires concentration and calculation, studying music and sports is one of the most efficient ways to release pressure and refresh. Following that, children will pay more attention back to academy ones with comfortable attitude. In addition, it is believed that these subjects help students to protect mental and physical health. while sports especially outdoor activities, the coaches can keep track of their student's health status that encourage them to exercise more often to prevent diseases, music has responsibility of nurturing emotion and creation that students can write their own stories through music and find their soul mate to share.
In conclusion, because of two reasons which are mentioned above, music and sports are not only the beneficial subjects to children's future career but also crucial to their mental and physical health that they should be taught at school.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-10-31 | mothaibabon | 78 | view |
| 2019-08-13 | trungtrung | 84 | view |
| 2019-06-12 | kingdangyeu0606 | 31 | view |
| 2019-01-01 | Rida | 56 | view |
| 2018-11-27 | Dongvo | 90 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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...y raising their awareness of education. it is believed that academic subjects are ...
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Suggestion: While
...s are not common which require talents. while academy courses are compulsory for all ...
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...onded to students who are not ordinary. they play a role of cultivating in talent th...
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Suggestion: They
...ual abilities but also teamwork skills. they have chances to work with team that gen...
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Suggestion: While
... to protect mental and physical health. while sports especially outdoor activities, t...
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Line 11, column 714, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...usic and find their soul mate to share. In conclusion, because of two reasons wh...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 10.4138276553 182% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 7.30460921844 205% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 41.998997996 86% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1706.0 1615.20841683 106% => OK
No of words: 306.0 315.596192385 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.57516339869 5.12529762239 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18244613648 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69014597856 2.80592935109 96% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.565359477124 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 516.6 506.74238477 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.3428108576 49.4020404114 138% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.857142857 106.682146367 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8571428571 20.7667163134 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.35714285714 7.06120827912 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.337071905089 0.244688304435 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114782627273 0.084324248473 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0978200168677 0.0667982634062 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.23044296702 0.151304729494 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0662963918801 0.056905535591 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.08 12.4159519038 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 78.4519038076 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.