Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been increasing advocacy that the locals should prioritize reducing environmental pollution and addressing housing issues in order to deal with illness and combat disease. In my viewpoint, I completely agree with these valuable suggestions and also believe that nutritious food sources and a healthy lifestyle should be a priority for authorities.
It is obvious that environmental pollution and housing problems directly lead to health issues. Regarding pollution, according to some recent surveys, Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi are getting worse and worse atmosphere quality due to the gas from vehicles and industrial emissions from factories, contributing to the increase in respiratory illnesses. Similarly, communities living near water sources polluted by untreated industrial waste are at risk for numerous health problems. Moreover, high property prices and economic instability force individuals with lower incomes to live in small and unhygienic spaces, which impact and exacerbate health challenges.
Additionally to the aforementioned factors, I believe that food sources and lifestyles also have a dramatic effect on our health. If people use unhealthy or unsafe types of food, their immune systems will be weakened. For example, individuals who use fast food usually get chronic conditions, as well as those who use food treated with harmful chemicals have a high chance of getting dangerous illnesses and cancer. Thus, the government should focus on choosing food safety and educating the citizens about the dangers of poor dietary habits. Furthermore, in this modern society, people often bury themselves in work and study, alive with a sedentary lifestyle and a huge amount of pressure that leads to chronic stress and insufficient physical activity, which can rapidly destroy our immune systems.
In conclusion, besides reducing pollution and housing problems, I believe that addressing poor dietary habits and lifestyle should also be on the government's agenda in order to improve and protect human well-being and health.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...act and exacerbate health challenges. Additionally to the aforementioned factors, I believ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 147, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'governments'' or 'government's'?
Suggestion: governments'; government's
...its and lifestyle should also be on the governments agenda in order to improve and protect ...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, furthermore, if, moreover, regarding, similarly, so, thus, well, for example, in conclusion, as well as, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 10.4138276553 211% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 24.0651302605 75% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1757.0 1615.20841683 109% => OK
No of words: 312.0 315.596192385 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.63141025641 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20279927342 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90891298203 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 176.041082164 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.634615384615 0.561755894193 113% => OK
syllable_count: 549.9 506.74238477 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.60771543086 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 55.5869564037 49.4020404114 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.416666667 106.682146367 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 20.7667163134 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.25 7.06120827912 159% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.67935871743 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.9879759519 251% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176152479312 0.244688304435 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0668428831143 0.084324248473 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0693687705646 0.0667982634062 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115811283171 0.151304729494 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0489447106421 0.056905535591 86% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.1 13.0946893788 138% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 28.17 50.2224549098 56% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 11.3001002004 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.67 12.4159519038 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.34 8.58950901804 120% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 78.4519038076 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.7795591182 148% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.