Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success while others believe this depends on other factors Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

People hold different views on which factors are behind the individual happiness. While a group of people argue that the financial success is the main key to open a happy life, the rest contend that happiness is constituted by other indicators. From my personal perspective, I strongly believe that besides stable financial basement, there are several factors contributing to the true happiness.
It is understandable when most people agree with the idea of the personal successful finance is the vital material to build happiness. This stems from the basic and simple definition of happiness which can satisfy daily people's requirements. Because of the property of the society, the soaring consumer demands of residents are not inevitable. If their monthly incomes can not compensate for their expense, people are not likely to happy and satisfied. In addition, economic success is also a benchmark for the successful and happy life. This is mainly because money is gradually becoming a driving force of every society's member to navigate their social position in the community. In fact, in terms of people's awareness, people, who have not only real-estates and accessories but also social power, tend to belong the wealthy group and also have more opportunities to enjoy their luxurious life.
Despite these arguments mentioned above, I am completely convinced with this viewpoint that wealth is just one of various factors contributing to personal happiness. Due to the fact that the notion of happiness of people are dissimilarity. There are a large number of people believe that peaceful soul plays a decisive role in creating happy life. As a result, instead of pursuing the enticement of money, they have a tendency to self-satisfied with their own things. As for others, the family love is the most important one, therefore, being gathering with their family members is also enough without money and fame.
In conclusion, because of the difference in the people's consciousness about happiness, besides economic success, other indicators such as peaceful soul and family love can change their lives' value

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 250, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... of people are dissimilarity. There are a large number of people believe that peaceful soul plays...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 49, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...usion, because of the difference in the peoples consciousness about happiness, besides ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, if, so, therefore, while, as for, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 41.998997996 112% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1778.0 1615.20841683 110% => OK
No of words: 336.0 315.596192385 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29166666667 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28139028586 4.20363070211 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86128172443 2.80592935109 102% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 176.041082164 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.550595238095 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 570.6 506.74238477 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.10420841683 285% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.76152304609 210% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.4612151359 49.4020404114 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.125 106.682146367 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 20.7667163134 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.9375 7.06120827912 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22194586105 0.244688304435 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0750478523323 0.084324248473 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0521550054745 0.0667982634062 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142809254958 0.151304729494 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0397711852682 0.056905535591 70% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 13.0946893788 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.4159519038 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.58950901804 101% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 78.4519038076 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.