Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and less time on outdoor sports Why is it a positive or negative development

Nowadays, the rapid development of technology has changed the way people work and study. Because of the reasonable prices and wide accessibility of many modern innovations, many workers and students are now staying home to finish their work. However, everything has its pros and cons, and the computer is not an exception. It may exert a detrimental effect on our lifestyle, education, and society. In my opinion, both ideas partially convince me for some reasons.
On the one hand, it is noteworthy that the computer was a heavy tool many decades ago, and it took a lot of time to calculate a simple math problem. However, every field in modern society is related to the computer, from managing the shop to information technology. A computer is a robust tool that every office worker or student must possess because of its versatile ability. Significantly, The Internet access function made it more beneficial to our lives. For example, a college like me uses the computer every day to complete assignments and projects and sometimes helps me entertain, such as watching movies and playing video games. It is also helpful in managing online selling through excel implement.
On the other hand, computers have their drawbacks. When we spend too much time on computers, there will be inadequate time for physical activities. As a result, our bodies will weaken over time, causing both mental and physical disorders for ourselves. For example, a sedentary worker like my cousin works 8 hours per day, and he spends all of the time sitting in front of the computer. As a result, he has a lot of ailments such as Hemorrhoids and short eye-sightedness. Furthermore, as technology increases rapidly, our personal information can be stolen or leaked to the online public. This can exert a detrimental effect on celebrities, making them feel unsafe all the time while their location or private documents can be sold for money.
In conclusion, the computer may be a powerful implement for every user. However, the time spent on the computer should be appropriate, and personal information must be strictly protected.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 337, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...in works 8 hours per day, and he spends all of the time sitting in front of the computer. ...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, however, if, may, so, while, for example, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 7.30460921844 41% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 41.998997996 71% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1763.0 1615.20841683 109% => OK
No of words: 348.0 315.596192385 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06609195402 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31911543099 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91161444543 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 176.041082164 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.580459770115 0.561755894193 103% => OK
syllable_count: 569.7 506.74238477 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 7.0 2.52805611222 277% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 0.809619238477 618% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0721442886 124% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.7266585952 49.4020404114 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.15 106.682146367 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4 20.7667163134 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 7.06120827912 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 3.4128256513 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18385553793 0.244688304435 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0498401081989 0.084324248473 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0488124349563 0.0667982634062 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105062990366 0.151304729494 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0306678403867 0.056905535591 54% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 13.0946893788 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 50.2224549098 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.83 12.4159519038 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.93 8.58950901804 104% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 78.4519038076 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.