Today many young people are moving from rural areas to cities. Why is this. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.?
In the last decade, in many countries a large number of young people have migrated into big cities. This situation has both economic value and social problems. In my opinion, young people staying in cities have much more advantages than disadvantages.
Clearly, young people are very important for the economic development of a modern city. To gain substantial economic growth, a city must use a skillful workforce which is as young and educated as possible. If the younger generation move from rural areas to modern cities, they can widen their horizon and become more experienced in many aspects such as technology and social interaction, taking advantage of the abundant technological and educational resources offered by cities. In addition, young people often get married and have children at big cities. This would increase the urban population and would expand the boundary of a city. A bigger city can offer more job opportunities which is beneficial to the local economy
On the other hand, the population movement from rural areas to urban areas can have negative social effects on the young. One of these effects is that sometimes young people can not afford a proper accommodation and have to stay in poor housing which can lead to an increase in crime and drug and alcohol abuse, making the city less secure. Another issue is that young people are often separated from their families, resulting in loneliness and isolation. All of this is likely to have a long term detrimental effect on young people’s mental health.
Although there are some serious concerns associated with the migration of the young people to the city, there are obvious economic and social benefits involved. Ultimately, I believe it is necessary for a city to attract more young people in order to prosper.
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2016-11-30 | Happy girl | 95 | view |
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If the younger generation move from rural areas
If the younger generation moves from rural areas
flaws:
The content is not well organized. for example, in the second paragraph, you wrote:
'Clearly, young people are very important for the economic development of a modern city.'
then you need to talk why they are important; why it is economic development; examples; conclusions;
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a pattern like this:
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Characters: 1467 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.148 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.956 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.601 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.925 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.267 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5