Some people think that children should be encouraged to play outdoor games that require physical activit instead of playing computer games in the home Do you agree or disagree

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Some people think that children should be encouraged to play outdoor games that require physical activit instead of playing computer games in the home. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowdays, the implication of children playing computer games at home has been widely discussed. Some people argue that children should attend outdoor games instead of playing computer games. I mostly agree with the argument.

On one hand, computer games has a number of benefits to children. To begin with, it is important for children to learn computer related skills because the computer technology has became a significant trend in our society. Children will be very interested in computers when they are attracted by computer games. Furthermore, computer games, especially those has education functions, can promote children's brain development. For example, many children learn drawing and music composing through the aid of computer games.

On the other hand, there are many arguments supporting that outdoor activities cannot be replaced by computer games. First, playing computer games have some negative effects on children's physical health. For example, playing computer games for a long time will hurt their eyes and back. Also, playing computer games may lead to overweight and obesity. Second, social skills is important for children to be successful in the future. Playing with real friends effectively helps children to grasp social skills.

In conclusion, outdoor activities is more beneficial to children than computer games. Therefore, children should be encouraged to attend more outdoor activities with friends.

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computer games has a number of benefits
computer games have a number of benefits

Sentence: To begin with, it is important for children to learn computer related skills because the computer technology has became a significant trend in our society.
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, past tense
Suggestion: Refer to has and became

computer games, especially those has education functions,
computer games, especially those have education functions,

playing computer games have some negative effects
playing computer games has some negative effects

social skills is important for children
social skills are important for children

outdoor activities is more beneficial
outdoor activities are more beneficial

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

No. of Words: 216 350
Minimum 250 words wanted

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 216 350
No. of Characters: 1183 1500
No. of Different Words: 124 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.834 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.477 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.61 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.889 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.427 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.151 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5